It’s OK to be in the grey

Best of Bread record spinning

Giggle man








Right now, It’s sunday night at my place and I’m listening to the most novelty of novelty 70’s music, ‘The Best of Bread’ record as my roommate is lying across from me half asleep, giggling to the lyrics..

“If your wondering what I what this song is leading to,

…I want to make it with you.”– (Pure 70’s awesome)

It’s a pretty good way to cap off a massive few weeks for me. So with the good 70’s vibes running through me, I’m taking this time to write some of the things I have learned in the past three weeks on my HSM adventure.

This week, I will post a few of those things up on the blog, sporadically.

The first lesson I want to talk about was a difficult lesson for me to learn, but a great one nonetheless…

“It’s OK to be a bit in the grey”

This first lesson started last week when we had a person come into our office to do an interview with Adam. I had a brief, amicable conversation with the lady until she, in a purely joking fashion, called someone a wog. I immediately pulled her up and cut her down by saying ‘that wog was a derogatory term’ and made her feel really, really uncomfortable about it. At the time I thought, I’m right and so I don’t care that she feels uncomfortable, that’s her business.

Adam let it go until she left but said something to me after about it. He then mentioned a couple of examples of how I have done that to people and made them feel awkward. So after about 20 min of getting pissed off with him and going through the initial F-U energy, I then went – Oh shit! You’re right, I do that. Ooh.

The truth is that I have often been quick to judge people as being either black and white. Sadly, I have done this to the detriment of both relationships and my own connection with people. On Saturday I brought it up over the dinner table at my parents house (secretly hoping they would say that I’m not like that) and then they too said that I can be righteous sometimes with how I treat people. Yep, a kick right in the guts.

It’s a painful pill to swallow but I realise now that I do sometimes ride the high horse a bit too much. Even with HSM, I have spent a good deal of time critising how people drink too much. Thinking how it is wrong for people to do that and treating them like they are in someway ‘lesser’ people. I haven’t really given too much consideration as to where an individual has come from that makes them drink or even to acceptance of those that enjoy the feeling of being drunk. I just write them off as inferior. I kind of make it ‘unacceptable’ without hearing their side to the story…. Phew, and breath out…

I really want to set the intention for HSM to learn how to have more understanding and compassion for people that do drink excessively without making it wrong. I want to learn how to walk a mile in their psychology before I shoot off the old judgement gun. 

So that was one of the first things I have learned, I will post up a new one soon. 


Good night. 🙂


When people see some things as beautiful,
other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good,
other things become bad.

Chris, love your work, this last article is very intriguing, as is the comment “once you see the good, the other side becomes bad” what are your thoughts on this……. is there such a thing as a grey area or more towards, just trying to see the opinion from the other point of view, because it is quite interesting that you, chris have done a complete role reversal to now judge “binge drinkers” quite harshly when if it wasn’t for this research (say a year ago), YOU WOULD see things differently…… from the other point of view.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


No lights no lycra

I danced sober in the dark on a Monday night with 100 other people

It was sweaty, it was loud and it was electric – and the best part, it was Monday night.
Brazilian Carnival

I stood at the front of a room and danced the Brazilian Samba

We sent our team member to a Brazilian dance lesson…