NOTHING BUT A G-STRING

I had the most amazing experience last
night.

Brenno and I drove back from the coast pretty late to attend a ‘Freaks’ dress-up house party. We didn’t really have much of an idea of what we would go as until we got home around 10.30pm and we went to the favourite place in my house for inspiration.

Rumaging through my fancy dress cupboard we managed to find the following items…

1 x leapoard print ‘Strong man’ stretchy pant.
1 x Nikki pen
1 x black g-string ‘pour homme’
1 x Mexican wresting mask.

So it was with these items we fashioned two costumes that have never been more revealing, more confronting or more ‘in ya face’ than I have ever dared to wear. It was in these costumes that we then drove to the party at which I knew but two people. Pros and cons.

I only had a street name for the party and I couldn’t be arsed going through my facebook events to find out exactly where it was so we winged it. Off we went to find it, expecting there to be only one party in the street that would be easy to find.

Big mistake.

We arrived at the entrance to what we THOUGHT was the party (wearing our outfits) and having worked up the courage to get in there, we decided to go out with bang. There was a group of about 20 mid-30’s people who were a there on the front deck smoking and being merry, strangely quiet and un-dressed for a ‘freaks’ party. Everyone shouted ‘aaaaahhh’ and pointed at us. Thinking we had arrived we made some quip about being the strippers and walked past into a house that seemed highly clean and empty. Two things that aren’t charictaristic of any party. Shit. It was like that scene in Forrest Gump where he just keeps running after he scores a touch down. We were very lost.

We walk through the back of the house, half dancing, half confused as to what to do. Exit stage ‘rear door’.

Outside, we saw quite a large gathering of people next door and importantly, they were all dressed up. Phew. We had found it
we thought!! So we climbed over the fence and again made the stripper entrance line as 50 people pointed and laughed at us. I’ve never felt more on display. We walk through this party realising that the people aren’t really dressed like freaks at all. They are more dressed like 1940’s gansters. Shit. We did it again!!! Why tonight!!? How many fucking parties are on this street?!?!? As it turns out, it was actually a going away party for my brother’s friend so I knew a couple of people there. We stayed for about 5min and politely got our naked selves out of there.
…

So, finally turning up at the ACTUAL party. We make more of a timid and searching entrance. The lights were very bright and the face of the disgusted men in the room was much more obvious to us at that point. I knew this was going to be a challenging night.

We introduced ourselves to the first people we could find and started some small chat but after that, we seemed to have something very perculiar happen. Being very much the centre of attention (I don’t know how we couldn’t be) I could feel the energy seem to really test us both positively and negatively by those that were there. Everyone either wanted to either support us or have a go (verbally). It was like a constant adrenaline rush. Fascinating.

Importantly, I also felt that the women there were signifigantly more flirty than I have ever experienced in my life (except for that time I manged to get an artist pass for a week at Blues and Roots).

What ever the reason, it was awesome!!! Maybe that has something to do with our vulnerability at that point. Maybe it was becuase we were confident enough to actually go through with it. I’m not sure. But I do know that it definatelly wasn’t becuase of the size of my penis. It’s not quite summer yet of you know what I mean.