NOTHING BUT A G-STRING

I had the most amazing experience last night. Brenno and I drove back from the coast pretty late to attend a ‘Freaks’ dress-up house party. We didn’t really have much of an idea of what we would go as until we got home around 10.30pm and we went to the favourite place in my house for inspiration. Rumaging through my fancy dress cupboard we managed to find the following items… 1 x leapoard print ‘Strong man’ stretchy pant. 1 x Nikki pen 1 x black g-string ‘pour homme’ 1 x Mexican wresting mask. So it was with these items we fashioned two costumes that have never been more revealing, more confronting or more ‘in ya face’ than I have ever dared to wear. It was in these costumes that we then drove to the party at which I knew but two people. Pros and cons. I only had a street name for the party and I couldn’t be arsed going through my facebook events to find out exactly where it was so we winged it. Off we went to find it, expecting there to be only one party in the street that would be easy to find. Big mistake. We arrived at the entrance to what we THOUGHT was the party (wearing our outfits) and having worked up the courage to get in there, we decided to go out with bang. There was a group of about 20 mid-30’s people who were a there on the front deck smoking and being merry, strangely quiet and un-dressed for a ‘freaks’ party. Everyone shouted ‘aaaaahhh’ and pointed at us. Thinking we had arrived we made some quip about being the strippers and walked past into a house that seemed highly clean and empty. Two things that aren’t charictaristic of any party. Shit. It was like that scene in Forrest Gump where he just keeps running after he scores a touch down. We were very lost. We walk through the back of the house, half dancing, half confused as to what to do. Exit stage ‘rear door’. Outside, we saw quite a large gathering of people next door and importantly, they were all dressed up. Phew. We had found it we thought!! So we climbed over the fence and again made the stripper entrance line as 50 people pointed and laughed at us. I’ve never felt more on display. We walk through this party realising that the people aren’t really dressed like freaks at all. They are more dressed like 1940’s gansters. Shit. We did it again!!! Why tonight!!? How many fucking parties are on this street?!?!? As it turns out, it was actually a going away party for my brother’s friend so I knew a couple of people there. We stayed for about 5min and politely got our naked selves out of there. … So, finally turning up at the ACTUAL party. We make more of a timid and searching entrance. The lights were very bright and the face of the disgusted men in the room was much more obvious to us at that point. I knew this was going to be a challenging night. We introduced ourselves to the first people we could find and started some small chat but after that, we seemed to have something very perculiar happen. Being very much the centre of attention (I don’t know how we couldn’t be) I could feel the energy seem to really test us both positively and negatively by those that were there. Everyone either wanted to either support us or have a go (verbally). It was like a constant adrenaline rush. Fascinating. Importantly, I also felt that the women there were signifigantly more flirty than I have ever experienced in my life (except for that time I manged to get an artist pass for a week at Blues and Roots). What ever the reason, it was awesome!!! Maybe that has something to do with our vulnerability at that point. Maybe it was becuase we were confident enough to actually go through with it. I’m not sure. But I do know that it definatelly wasn’t becuase of the size of my penis. It’s not quite summer yet of you know what I mean.

You guys are so brave! What a night! I can’t believe you walked in to the wrong party TWICE! Classic…

I think girls would have liked you guys because you actually dressed up like freaks and though you would have felt very nervous you managed to supress it enough to carry on with your night, and have decent conversations with people.

The people who were jeering you just wished that they had the confidence that you do!

chris u legend.

even if i HAD been drinking i wouldn’t have been able to do that.

congrats

Hi Chris,

I didn’t get to meet/greet or talk to you much on Saturday night but I wanted to write to you to tell you that I look forward to reading your blog when ever I jump online. I understand the transformation you are going through. I went through a similar process last year. Unlike yourself I was reluctant to expose this to others for fear of being misunderstood or heaven forbid embarrassed (funny enough being misunderstood or embarrassed doesn’t bother me much now). So when I saw you walk tall and proud around the cement wall to expose yourself to a good 70 something strong crowd I stopped, Looked, stopped and thought “yeh this is hilarious” but more to the point I thought this was a triumphant feat. While bearded ladies and jojo the dog faced boy were laughing their heads off I was standing there thinking how strong you are to stand there and literally expose yourself- bum cheeks and all. I wish you well on your journey Chris and you are not alone many people have walked this self discovery road before but like I said are reluctant to talk of it. Talking about figuring out who you are stripped back is a terrifying and exciting task. So terrifying in fact I think the majority of people don’t even attempt and they live their life barley scraping the surface. I saw your actions on Saturday night to be more defining than novelty. Bless your cotton sock(s)

P.s When your not drinking you notice things like the following to be a bad choice straight away. Drinkers don’t. I heard this from the warmth of my bed and had a giggle to myself. Ahhh tainted love.

Sunday Morning 6.31am

A: Oh awesome I found bottle of Tia Maria! Arrreeeeeba! Drink?
B: Awesome! yes! Shotsssss!

I’m bringing back Sundays with you G man.

Rach.

P.s I just purchased a book about the history of drinking in Australia. I will let you know how it is- amazing so far.

Its called “Under the influence: The history of Alcohol in Australia”

* I bought it from “Avid Reader” in West End

By Ross Fitzgerald, Trevor Jordan
On Sale: 1/09/2009
Formats: Trade Paperback

In reading UNDER THE INFLUENCE, I have not only discovered that alcohol has been integral to major events in Australian history, I have also found – as will many other readers – that it has also been integral to major events in the history of my own family. It′s intoxicating to read the story of our country through the bottom of a glass. (from the Foreword by Mandy Sayer)

UNDER THE INFLUENCE is a unique look at Australian history as seen through the perspective of the influence of alcohol. Extremely readable and well researched, this book shows how the patterns for alcohol use (and abuse) can be traced back to the very early days of white settlement in Australia, taking us all the way up to the present day and our ongoing concerns about teenage drinking and alcohol-fuelled violence, as well as the role of the industry players in the promotion and packaging of an increasingly dizzying array of alcoholic products. Along the way we learn of the social, political and cultural facets of alcohol and it makes fascinating reading discovering what our attitude to alcohol says about who we are, who we care about, and what we care about.

Awesome. Can I borrow it off you when you have finished it??? 🙂

Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Topics



Salsa dancing shoes

I took salsa lessons and realised it was a better way to meet people than nightclubs

We have turned July into our dancing month, where we will explore different forms of creative expression to music and encourage you to do the same. Salsa and other forms of dance can provide an outlet for a lot of baggage. Hello Sunday Morning is inviting you to come along on our journey to experiment … Continue reading I took salsa lessons and realised it was a better way to meet people than nightclubs
No lights no lycra

I danced sober in the dark on a Monday night with 100 other people

It was sweaty, it was loud and it was electric – and the best part, it was Monday night.