Search
menu

Tag: alcohol free

If you’re thinking about changing your relationship with alcohol, one of the first decisions you will make is whether you want to cut back or quit altogether.

In Australia, alcohol is involved in so many aspects of everyday life that for some people, the thought of never having a drink again is so daunting that they end up making no change at all. For others, having alcohol only in particular situations of their choice, feels doable.

So how do you decide what’s best for you?

Understanding moderation vs abstinence

Drinking in moderation means you still enjoy a drink, but avoid the harms to health, relationships and wellbeing that potentially come with heavy or risky drinking. On the other hand, abstinence involves not drinking alcohol at all. For some people it’s an easy decision but for others, weighing up the gains and losses of each option can help.

In deciding what’s right for you, consider the following issues. A self-assessment may help too.

Personal history: Think about the role alcohol has had in your life. What’s led to your current concerns with drinking? Are you drinking more often or in larger amounts but still able to control your drinking for the most part? Is moderation something you’d consider, or would you like to stop completely? Have you had severe consequences from drinking such as blackouts or memory loss, physical injuries, social conflicts, or believe you are dependent? If so, you might consider at least a period of abstinence, like 6-12 months, and then reconsider your relationship with alcohol from a different standpoint.

Health: Assess the impact of alcohol on your physical and mental health. Consider any existing health conditions, medications, or family history of alcohol-related problems that may influence your decision. If you suffer from severe physical effects from alcohol like poor liver function or heart disease, you might consider at least a period of abstinence. Consult with a health professional for personalised advice and guidance.

Social and family life: What’s the role of alcohol in your social and private life? Do you feel pressure from your social group to drink? Do you drink more or less than other people in your circle? Do social situations influence your drinking patterns, or is your social and or family life influenced by your drinking? The answers may help you decide if abstinence or moderation is the better option for you.

Goals and values: What do you value? What are your priorities in life? What are you trying to achieve? How does alcohol fit in with these things? Considering the potential benefits and drawbacks of both moderation and abstinence in relation to your values and goals may help you make a decision.

Motivation: Start according to your level of motivation, because we only change what we’re motivated to change. Even if you think you should quit, if that’s going to be hard, it’s better to try to cut back or take a short break first. Motivation is influenced by the benefits you see of reaching the desired goal and the disadvantages you see of taking steps to get there. For example, if you’d like to quit drinking but think that will ruin a social life that’s important to you, you might choose to only drink when you go out and set a limit for yourself on those days. Motivation waxes and wanes, so check in with yourself regularly.

How to choose

Take time to reflect: Give yourself space and time to reflect on your relationship with alcohol and the personal factors you’ve considered that influence your decision. Journaling, meditating, or discussing your thoughts and feelings with a trusted friend or health professional can help clarify your thoughts and emotions.

Seek support: Hop into Daybreak and learn from other’s experiences. Reach out to people you know will be supportive and who can offer guidance, encouragement, and understanding as you navigate this decision.

Experiment and adapt: Be open to experimenting with different approaches to changing your relationship with alcohol and adjusting your strategy based on your experiences and feedback. Allow yourself the flexibility to change course if your needs, preferences, or circumstances evolve over time.

Practice self-compassion: Be kind and compassionate towards yourself as you explore your options and make decisions about drinking alcohol. Recognise that change is a process that might not go smoothly the whole way.

There is no wrong answer, no one-size-fits-all when it comes to cutting down or quitting. What works for one person is not the same as what works for another. But it’s also not an all or nothing thing. There are lots of options and lots of different supports out there. If at first you don’t succeed, try again with a different approach.

Remember that any break or reduction in drinking is healthy for your body, even if it’s not forever.

Let us know how you go. We are here to help you change your relationship with alcohol and meet your personal goals, whether that is taking a break, cutting back or quitting.

The Hello Sunday Morning Team

I grew up in a Sydney inner city pub culture where even now, in my late 50s, if I have a chat with a mate, it is generally over a beer or two.

I am OK with this.

However, while going through an unreasonably tough time at work during the COVID-influenced work from home era, I did “lean on” nightly drinking because I thought it was helping me get through the stressful situations.

I have wonderful supportive people at home that I should have ‘leaned on’ instead, but I forgot what was important to me.

Of course, it became a habit and got to the point where I was sick of waking up feeling rough and not sleeping well. Lately, I am consciously increasing alcohol–free days and feeling better for it – although it is something I need to constantly work at. The Daybreak app and this blog is helping. Thank you!

Before I first started reading this blog, I thought that alcohol helped to ‘take the edge off’. But now I know daily drinking leads to disruption of sleep, digestion issues, more anxiety and most importantly, absence of mind when dealing with important family relationships.

The blog also helped me discover my drinking triggers. For me, I find if I do not have a drink after work and during dinner, I have no further cravings that day.

Meditating and mindfulness has helped too. Also, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that my alcohol-free days coincide with my gym and training days.

I definitely had an unhealthy obsession with work. Since the invention of mobile phones, etc, I believe it is now easier to become a workaholic compared to any other time in human history. I felt an expectation to be at call 24/7.

I am old enough to remember when leaving work generally meant leaving work related problems in the office. These days we can continue to work on our devices in the elevator, on the train and sadly at home.

I don’t think we can look at issues in isolation. I think everything is connected. It’s hard to fix problems with alcohol if it feels like everything else is falling apart. The other parts of our lives need work too.

I believe my problems with alcohol are a symptom of my struggles to handle the stress I experience at work and in life.

I sought professional help to deal with the stress and anxiety. This helped to put things in perspective and re-set my goals and values. Like the alcohol triggers, I was taught to recognise anxiety triggers.

The main thing that has helped with my stress management is taking a break, even for 10 minutes. During this time, it is important for me to feel like I don’t have to do anything and to not feel the need to resist anything. Going for a walk helps, as does trying to concentrate on one thing at a time – like music.

The COVID lock down period meant more time at home, which was a double-edged sword. It was easy for work to take over.

To fill in time I took some evening courses with the Conservatorium of Music in Sydney. This was a welcome distraction and gave me more confidence in my musical ability. I have since been writing, recording and performing. In fact, the above story is part of the inspiration behind my latest single. Please see below if you are interested.

As indicated earlier, I am a regular reader of this blog which helps me to keep these issues front of mind. I am grateful to all those who have shared their stories. It takes more courage than I thought.

I am aware that many people have chosen the abstinence path in relation to alcohol and more power to them.

I have chosen a path of moderation.

Am I making mistakes along the way? Shit yeah!

But that’s how we learn, and I intend to never stop learning.

 

All The Best

Mick

 

Mick’s latest single: A Thousand’s Not Enough

https://open.spotify.com/track/5tShtVC53ihKEA3GEaOIVh?si=LQ9ga8lWTZKSH9tUi2N0ZA

https://youtu.be/tfCuzTdurIY

www.mickloizou.com

 

Sometimes I can’t help feeling I don’t belong

Convince myself it’s fine but I know it’s wrong

I never dreamed that this is where I would be

Dressed up in my suit

Pretending to be me…

 

Technology was meant to help us be free

Instead, my work now keeps on following me

Family at home I see but don’t recognise

Finding it hard

To look them in the eye…

 

Chorus

I’m going out tonight don’t care what happens next

Don’t want to think no more my brain needs a rest

The blues will finish when the alcohol starts

Ones too many

A thousand’s not enough

 

Talking to Katie she sees somethings not right

She says you can’t continue living this life

We vowed to always find an answer somehow

That was me then

Don’t know about now…

 

Chorus

I’m going out tonight don’t care what happens next

Don’t want to think no more my brain needs a rest

The blues will finish when the alcohol starts

Ones too many

A thousand’s not enough

 

Ooh I think it’s too late

Ooh to fix my mistakes

Ooh the hurdles to high

Ooh I know I should try…

 

Chorus

I’m going out tonight don’t care what happens next

Don’t want to think no more my brain needs a rest

The blues will finish when the alcohol starts

Ones too many

A thousand’s not enough

Congratulation for those who completed the dry month. By now, you might have noticed some changes to your body after a month off booze. Health is certainly one benefit most people would notice. On the financial side, you might also have saved a few bucks from giving up alcohol for a month, which is always welcome especially during tough times!  

But there are other aspects that are worth noting and celebrating too. Mostly internal and maybe not so obvious, such as: 

  • Character building – for giving it a go, having self-control and being persistent;
  • Allowing more focus on different parts of your life – like relationships, work and family; and lastly, 
  • For taking back your Sunday mornings – or any mornings throughout the week without a hangover!

 So, keep at it! We encourage you to continue on beyond a month off. 

In the past we have written some tips to help keep you going after a dry month. You can find those resources below: 

Putting a C.O.R.K in Dry July

What comes after Dry July

Changes in our bodies 

For something different, this year we want to challenge you to use the month off experience to take part in building a better drinking culture. Now that you know and have experienced the benefits of taking a break from alcohol, you might be in a good position to share your insights with others. So, why not use your insights to make a difference to better our drinking culture?  

Below are some suggestions on how you can do that: 

One of the top challenges we often face when quitting alcohol is the question ‘Why aren’t you drinking?’ While we don’t owe anyone an explanation for reasons to not drink – using this as an opportunity to open a conversation can be a great way to help better our drinking culture.  

Use your answer to challenge their thinking and ask them what they think about it. A word of advice, be mindful of questions that might shame or seemingly be on the defensive side. Instead, use compassion and empathy when challenging people’s thinking around alcohol, as they might not be at the same stage of change as we are. (If you want to find out more about the Stage of Change, read our past blog here) 

Here are some ideas on how to share your recent experience and start a conversation: 

‘I quit drinking last month and started to notice some improvements in my health as well in other aspects of my life, such as [insert your own experience here]. So, I decided to keep going.’

‘It’s better for my mental health to drink less (or not drink). But I’m actually interested to hear your thoughts on the recent sober-curious movement. Have you heard about it or ever thought about it?’ 

‘I finally asked myself the question ‘why am I drinking?’. As what I found was that there were not many reasons that benefitted me in the long run. So, I’ve decided not to drink for now.’

Keep in mind, you might get a defensive or dead-end conversation. The aim is not to expect a positive response, but more to create awareness of a different thinking and a change in behaviour around alcohol. 

In a subtle way, without words you are setting an example to people around you through your decision. You might like to demonstrate to your colleagues that you can cope without alcohol when things get tough or stressful, to your children or someone younger that you can enjoy winding down without wine; and to your friends that you don’t need alcohol to have fun or to be ‘fun’. This is a way to start normalising not drinking. Your simple action now can impact future generations to come. 

Are you a part of a social group? Or in a position at work to help create a better drinking culture? This may be an opportunity (or dare we say, a higher calling) to raise awareness about excessive drinking. If you are a part of an organising group for a work function, try applying limits to the availability of alcohol as well as providing some alternative drinks. If you and your group are celebrating someone’s achievements, instead of a bottle of bubbly as a gift and having drinks at the pub to mark the occasion, use other gifts and choose other places to meet that involve little or no alcohol.  

In the past, a few of our HSM community members have reached out to us for resources to share in the workplace. If you think this can help, we would love to hear from you. Or better still, if you have an idea on how we can help raise awareness of these important messages, please don’t hesitate to contact us! 

One practical way to help build a better drinking culture is to raise money for causes around which you care about. Whether organising a running group for an event like City to Surf, hosting a bake sale or a sausage sizzle at your local Bunnings*, raising money is a great way to create awareness. If you want to support the work of HSM, or have some ideas to support us, our fundraising team would love to hear from you! 

* For those who lives outside Australia and New Zealand, Bunnings is a DIY version of IKEA. Or the equivalent of Home Depot in America. 

Finally, write a story about your own relationship with alcohol. At Hello Sunday Morning we believe that sharing stories can help other people who are on the same journey. There might be others who are going through the same challenges. By reading how you are going can be empowering and motivating for others to keep going. Whether writing a personal story on the HSM platform, sharing a short post on your IG, or telling your personal experience in a private conversation, it can be a testament and a way to help normalise sobriety. Your direct contribution to cultivating a better drinking culture! 

Being available when others reach out

‘I’m a rugby league and union
player and copped a lot of sh*t at the start due to
our huge drinking culture but I kept at it and didn’t budge and now
some others message me privately
asking for advice.
[HSM] helped that happen.’

– Paul

As mentioned earlier – it is of value to use compassion and empathy when having conversations about drinking. Our attitude around people who drink alcohol makes all the difference. At Hello Sunday Morning, we are big on offering non-judgemental support and this is something we encourage others to foster too. The best way to do this is by continuing to practise your own beliefs around alcohol and being ready to listen. Keep at it, and perhaps, people will start noticing and might even go to you for advice. Just like our friend Paul! (Read his story along with others here) 

Being a support to others can be quite daunting, so make sure you have some way to regulate your emotions and allow time to recover spent energy. When we look after ourselves well, we have a better chance of looking after others. 

In perspective

It can be intimidating to compare our simple effort and the extensive complexity of Australia’s drinking culture (or wherever you are living). At times our effort might seem like a drop in the ocean, but our actions and words might make a difference to someone without our knowledge.  

Here at Hello Sunday Morning, we can see a shift in the drinking culture over the past 12 years. If we look back 5 years ago, non-alcoholic drinks were almost non-existent, nowadays most bars and venues serve non-alcoholic alternatives. Much is still needed to be done, but there is certainly a better hope for our future.  

Would you join us? 

You might have recently reduced your alcohol intake, but what do you replace it with? Check out these suggestions for new ways to feel organised and motivated, to get out and about and meet others, while keeping your mind and body healthy and active. 

1. Walk it off

Not only is walking a great activity to do instead of drinking, but it also comes with a host of health benefits. In fact, walking for an average of 30 minutes or more a day can lower the risk of heart disease, stroke by 35% percent and Type 2 diabetes by 40%.  

Compose a list of local walks in your neighbourhood, or further afield. Find your state national parks, such as Victoria Walks  and Visit NSW, see lists of walking tracks on their websites. Some even have themed walking tours too or share dog friendly on and off leash areas.  

2. Make a List

Our brains love ordered tasks. Studies have actually shown that people perform better when they have written down what they need to do.  Paula Rizzo is The List Producer. She says lists can help reduce anxiety, increase your self esteem and improve your focus amongst other great benefits. Your list might cover jobs you want to do around the house, or holiday destinations you are saving up for.  

3. Suspend reality – escape into the arts

Grab tickets to the theatre, catch a movie with friends, take a wander through a gallery, or crack up laughing at a comedy club. You might even find discounted tickets on certain nights of the week. Ask a friend along, and schedule your time for the event only so you don’t feel uncomfortable about declining drinks afterwards.  

4. Give to others

Volunteering your time and energy is such a rewarding gesture. Volunteering can help you expand your mindset, meet new people, contribute to community, and feel valued and vital. From annual events, to ongoing contributions making volunteering a part of your life has so many benefits. Check out Volunteering Australia for ideas on how to be involved in your community 

5. Learn something new

Join a weekend workshop or an evening class to get yourself out of the house, try new things, take up new mindful habits, broaden your interest and social circle, and distract yourself from turning to drink. From sewing, cooking, music, workshop skills and learning a language – opening yourself up to like-minded people and new hobbies is a wonderful way to reinvent or reconnect with yourself.  

More ideas

Still searching for your thing? Try these suggestions to keep you moving towards your goals: 

  • Listen to a podcast (check out On the Road  and Sober Awkward ) 
  • Help a mate out with a project they’re struggling to get on top of  
  • Write a journal  
  • Spend time with an elderly relative and record their history 
  • Finish a DIY home project job 
  • Crack open a jigsaw puzzle 
  • Swim laps at the pool (or in the ocean)  
  • Bring out your favourite board games from when you were a kid  
  • Experiment cooking new dishes  
  • Experiment with non-alcoholic drinks 
  • Join a seed bank organisation and plant a veggie garden 
  • Take a bike ride along a path you’ve never explored before  
  • Take on an adrenalin challenge – ziplining or skydiving anyone? 
  • Organise your digital photos or print them and place into frames  
  • Head out to an exercise class, or meditation session 
  • Join a Tree Planting or Clean Up community day 
  • Join organisations like Men’s Shed or CWA or St John’s Ambulance and help with community events  
  • Hand-make thank you, greeting or special occasion cards 
  • Prep healthy lunches for your week 
  • Pay it forward by donating something to someone in your community  
  • Write your own relationship journey with alcohol and share it with HSM community 

Keen to learn more? Check out these useful blogs:

Ten social activities to try
without booze

Replacement behaviour ideas

Social anxiety tips

If you feel like some online company while exploring more options and revisiting your relationship with alcohol, join the Hello Sunday Morning community via our Daybreak app.   

This week’s guest blog discusses the financial consequences of giving up alcohol. How much money can you save by not drinking? More than you might think, when you begin to realise it’s not just the grog you’re spending money on. 

When we talk about the benefits of easing back on alcohol intake, we usually focus on the positives for our bodily and mental health. But one often-overlooked benefit that very quickly becomes apparent to newly moderate drinkers is the amount of money that stays put in their wallets when they say ‘No’ to the booze.

There are two ways that it stays there: the obvious way, from not spending money on the stuff, and the less direct ways, like not having to spend on other things because you’re not drinking. Let’s take a look at these in turn.

As we get older we tell ourselves that we deserve a better standard of wine, that the good old goon-bag from our student days is beneath us, and that the sophistication of slurping a premier cru somehow atones for the fact that we are now drinking well over the recommended weekly limit of 14 standard drinks. For middle-aged men like me, with entrenched drinking habits and an unshakeable belief that they can detect and appreciate the difference between a $20 and a $40 bottle of shiraz, giving up the grog for a month or two can add some serious dollars back into household revenue. 

Consider a couple who are regular wine drinkers, with perhaps the odd beer thrown in. They’re set in their ways, and let’s say they share a bottle of wine most weeknights, plus a bit more over the weekends. That leaves them drinking their way through 8 bottles per week between them. They’re a bit choosy about what they drink, but not obsessed, so we’ll assume they average out at $20 per bottle. That comes to $160 each week, or $8,320 in a year. That gets a nudge upwards from peak-season holiday drinking, and the odd bottle of spirits or case of beer, so it would be easy for this couple to pass the $10,000 per year threshold. Changing the amount they drink can be the equivalent of a significant pay rise.

And that’s just for drinking done at home. If you’ve bought a round of drinks in a bar recently, you’ll know how quickly that can empty out the wallet – especially when exotic cocktails are involved. You’re in for a pleasant surprise when you dine at a restaurant sans alcohol, because, if you are like me, you’ve had your share of restaurant meals where the booze made up more than half of the bill. It’s an irritation because you know that, unlike the food, which was slaved over by skilled practitioners in the kitchen, the restaurateur did nothing other than buy and store the wine to justify a markup of three or four times what you could buy it for at Dan the Man’s.

But it is simplistic to talk about only the direct costs of purchasing alcohol when considering the savings that accrue when you give it up for a while (or even if you just dial down the consumption a little). There are considerable indirect savings to be had, too. Consider the latest curse of our internet age: drunk shopping.

You can see how it works: you’re sitting alone at night with an open bottle and an iPad for company, flicking idly through Amazon when you are hit by the sudden realisation that your wardrobe really only lacks a Noel Coward-style bottle green quilted smoking jacket for it to be complete. A few taps on the keyboard and the deed is done – with sanity and buyer’s remorse catching up only the next morning, when it’s too late.

According to a US survey earlier this year, 79% of alcohol users have made at least one alcohol-fuelled purchase online, with the average yearly spend an eye-watering $444 in a year!

There’s a long list of additional secondary costs that are reduced or entirely avoided when you wind down the booze:

  • Taxis and Ubers aren’t cheap, but they’re necessary if you’re tying a couple on when you’re out (unless you want to risk the late-night train home, of course). When you’re off the grog you become your very own, full-time, designated driver.
  • Things just get messier when you’re drinking. Whether it’s spilling food and drink, falling over in the street, or even ‘launching the leopard’ after a few too many, your clothes are on the frontline for the consequences. Sure, they can be dry cleaned, but that ain’t cheap!
  • And supposing you do make a goose of yourself: flowers (for apologies).
  • We all know that alcohol is a leading contributor to relationship failure, and that divorce settlements have the capacity to utterly ruin you, financially.
  • Midnight snacks to stave off pre-jentacular (look it up, like I had to) hunger pangs. You can be scoffing a pizza at 1:00am, or you can be sleeping like an angel and saving the money (as well as preserving your waistline). 
  • Self-help for the morning after: Beroccas, paracetamols, and a stomach-soothing fry-up in the morning.

Then there’s the unquantifiable, but still very real, effect of alcohol on your general levels of energy and productivity. Economists would tell us there’s an opportunity cost to getting pissed – it diverts you from doing more productive things, and the effects can linger. If you’ve ever given up the booze for a sustained period, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Your mornings are no longer spent with a woolly head and a desire to take it easy. Instead, you’ve got an unaccustomed level of energy and focus, and over the long term that’s a major component of financial success, greater productivity, more promotions, bigger bonuses, etc.

So the bottom line is pretty clear. You’ll notice a lot of differences when you deliberately change your relationship with alcohol – most of these changes are positive, and a small number are neutral or even negative. But one immediate, unmistakable and completely quantifiable effect will be on your personal finances.

This week’s guest blog is from Vari Longmuir, a Melbourne-based illustrator and life coach. She helps creative women build businesses with more intention, authenticity and clarity. Vari has just celebrated 12 months since she chose to remove alcohol from her life. She shares her journey so far and why traumatic rock bottoms are not necessary in order to choose a life without alcohol. 

Last week – with a mug of tea in hand – I quietly celebrated 1 year since deciding to remove alcohol from my life. 

I will forever feel incredibly fortunate that my story of transition out of alcohol is not one of traumatic rock bottoms. 

But, the truth is, having no ‘rock bottom’ almost makes it harder to make the decision. 

If there’s nothing majorly at stake, and life appears to be ticking along just fine, then why change anything?

It’s true – there was no major external drama around my drinking. Internally however, my relationship with alcohol had been something I’d been uncomfortable with for a long time.

Forever maybe …

When I look back, there were most definitely signs – in my late teens and early twenties – that me and alcohol did not have a healthy relationship.

Being suspended from school in New York, aged 17, for being drunk at a school basketball game, was just one of them.

But drinking had always been part of who I was. It was part of my identity –  ‘Vari can sink pints with the boys. ’ – and my culture. 

Wherever you go in the world, the Scots’ reputation for being able to ‘hold our drink’ precedes us.  And man did I try to live up to this! 

I knew that full-blown alcoholism was in my family. I’d watched it happen to family members, as a kid. The kind of addiction that actually kills people. I knew I wasn’t ‘like that’. So I must not have a problem … right? 

I know … perhaps I’ll just moderate my drinking … 

Moderation was useless for me.  

Part of what made me uncomfortable about my drinking was how much energy it stole from me. Trying to decide if I’d drive tonight and have a drink tomorrow took up way too much of my already depleted energy.

My breakup with alcohol did not come with a big pre-planned announcement.

I didn’t wait for the start of a new month, or week, or day.

I just quietly decided – at 8pm on a Sunday night – that it was time.  And the glass of wine I’d poured went down the sink. 

Here’s what scared me the most when I thought about a life without alcohol:

  • I’d lose friends
  • I’d no longer be invited to things (and if I did, it would be excruciatingly painful to be there sober)
  • What would it mean for me and my guy if we couldn’t go out for a drink or have a bottle of wine with dinner?
  • Holidays, birthdays, weddings, family gatherings – how do you do these without alcohol?

But this seemingly insignificant, low-key decision changed my life. It changed my life in ways I could not have imagined.

I decided that I didn’t want to be someone who had iron-clad willpower to resist alcohol. I decided that I would be someone who wouldn’t have the desire for alcohol.  

GAME-CHANGER. 

I wanted to be the woman who was interesting and creative and funny and outgoing. And who didn’t think about alcohol. 

I wanted to be the woman who would happily go to a bar or have dinner with friends who were drinking. And not feel like the odd one out.

I wanted to be the woman who got on a plane, asked for a sparkling water and felt the same excitement as my champagne-sipping travel companions. 

I wanted to be the woman who could pick up her keys and drive anywhere at any time. (This was a big one for me as a mother of two growing boys.)  

I wanted to be the woman who could enjoy the natural pleasures of summer – long hot nights, ocean swims, warm early mornings – without diluting them with alcohol. 

I wanted to be the woman who could count on herself every moment of every day and do what I said I was going to do. 

Today, I am this woman. This is what a year without alcohol has gifted me. 

My internal discomfort with alcohol was drowning me. It was distracting me from emotions that had to be processed, relationships that had to be healed, art that had to be created, words that needed to be written and decisions that had to be made.  

The rich, full life I dreamed of was not available to me while alcohol was still present. 

What I know to be true is this:  

Balance does not come from the hardcore workout followed by  the wine-fuelled nights – an increasingly scary zeitgeist of our time.  

It comes from compassion and curiosity and gentleness towards myself. 

A sober life doesn’t only ask us to step away from alcohol. It asks us to step towards ourselves. To be more fully us. To embrace our vulnerabilities and insecurities with all our beautiful shyness and nervousness.

Because that is when people see the real us. That is when we authentically connect on a soul level. And it is this willingness to be seen for who we truly are that inspires others to give themselves permission to do the same. 

Here at Hello Sunday Morning we know what a huge question ‘should I give up alcohol’? can be to even put out to the universe. It’s not easy to give up something that’s incorporated into your daily dinner, salubrious socialising, or relaxation routine. We know how hard it is for our community and our Daybreak members to give up alcohol, but we also know the huge benefits that come from a life with less or no booze; weight loss, mental clarity, no hangovers, peace of mind and much more time to focus on your goals, just to mention a few. And guess what?! Our Daybreak community is so supportive, encouraging and resourceful they are constantly offering suggestions on getting over the first few hurdles in giving up alcohol and in staying sober.

Whether you’re a bookworm, audiophile, couch potato or app aficionado, below is a  comprehensive list of resources on getting sober for everyone seeking help in giving up alcohol.

Books about giving up alcohol recommended by our community

  1. Alcohol Explained by William Porter

This book explains how alcohol affects human beings on a chemical, physiological and psychological level, from those first drinks right up to chronic alcoholism. The book provides a logical, easy to follow explanation of the phenomenon and detailed instructions on how to beat it.

  1. The Naked Mind by Annie Grace

Annie Grace presents the psychological and neurological components of alcohol use based on the latest science, and reveals the cultural, social, and industry factors that support alcohol dependence in all of us.  Packed with surprising insight into the reasons we drink, this book will open your eyes to the startling role of alcohol in our culture, and how the stigma of alcoholism and recovery keeps people from getting the help they need.

  1.  Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget by Sarah Hepola

Sarah often blacked out after a night drinking, waking up with a blank space where four hours should have been. Mornings became detective work on her own life. What did I say last night? How did I meet that guy? She apologised for things she couldn’t remember doing, as though she were cleaning up after an evil twin. Her tale will resonate with anyone who has been forced to reinvent or struggled in the face of necessary change. It’s about giving up the thing you cherish most – but getting yourself back in return.

  1. The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley

Like many women, Clare Pooley found the juggle of a stressful career and family life a struggle, so she left her successful role as a managing partner in one of the world’s biggest advertising agencies to look after her family. She knew the change wouldn’t be easy, but she never expected to find herself an overweight, depressed, middle-aged mother of three who was drinking more than a bottle of wine a day and spending her evenings Googling ‘am I an alcoholic?’

  1.  Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp

Caroline Knapp was a successful woman with her own apartment, a steady boyfriend and a career in newspaper journalism. Beneath her polished veneer was a person so broken and insecure she drank herself into a stupor every night. This is her account of her twenty-year love affair with alcohol.

  1.   Alcohol Lied to Me (the Intelligent Escape from Alcohol Addiction) by Craig Beck 

Craig Beck was a successful and functioning professional man in spite of a ‘two bottles of wine a night’ drinking habit. For 20 years, he struggled with problem drinking, all the time refusing to label himself an alcoholic because he did not think he met the stereotypical image that the word portrayed. All these ‘willpower’ based attempts to stop drinking, failed. Slowly he discovered the truth about alcohol dependence and, one by one, all the lies he had previously believed started to fall apart.

  1.  A Girl Walks Out of A Bar by Lisa Smith

Lisa Smith was a bright young lawyer at a prestigious law firm in NYC when alcoholism and drug dependence took over her life. What was once a way she escaped her insecurity and negativity as a teenager became a means of coping with the anxiety and stress of an impossible workload. The book is a candid portrait of alcoholism through the lens of gritty New York realism. Beneath the façade of success lies the reality of dependence.

  1. Dry: A Memoir by Augusten Burroughs

The New York Times Bestseller tells the story of Augusten Burroughs. You’ve seen him on the street, in bars, on the subway, at restaurants: a twenty-something guy, nice suit, works in advertising. Regular. Ordinary. But when the ordinary person had two drinks, Augusten was circling the drain by having twelve. At the request (well, it wasn’t really a request) of his employers, Augusten lands in rehab, where his dreams of group therapy with Robert Downey Jr. are immediately dashed by grim reality of fluorescent lighting and paper hospital slippers.

  1.  Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis

Each chapter of Girl, Wash Your Face begins with a specific lie Hollis once believed that left her feeling overwhelmed, unworthy, or ready to give up. As a working mother, a former foster parent, and a woman who has dealt with insecurities about her body and relationships, she speaks with the insight and kindness of a BFF, helping women unpack the limiting mind-sets that destroy their self-confidence and keep them from moving forward.

  1. Why Can’t I Drink Like Everyone Else? A Step-By-Step Guide to Understanding Why You Drink and Knowing How to Take a Break by Rachel Hart

If you’ve ever struggled with drinking too much and want to learn how to take a break without feeling like you’re missing out on life, look no further. Rachel wrote Why Can’t I Drink Like Everyone Else? to share with people the tools she uses with her private clients and to show people that you can answer this question without labels or shame.

  1.  Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett

In this book, Bill Burnett and Dave Evans show us how design thinking can help us create a life that is both meaningful and fulfilling, regardless of who or where we are, what we do or have done for a living, or how young or old we are. The same design thinking responsible for amazing technology, products, and spaces can be used to design and build your career and your life, a life of fulfillment and joy, constantly creative and productive, one that always holds the possibility of surprise.

  1. The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living by Russ Harris

A guide to ACT – the revolutionary mindfulness-based program for reducing stress, overcoming fear, and finding fulfilment. Popular ideas about happiness are misleading, inaccurate, and directly contribute to the current epidemic of stress, anxiety & depression. In this empowering book, Dr Harris provides the means to escape the happiness trap.

  1. Sober Curious by Ruby Warrington

Drawing on research, expert interviews, and personal narrative, Sober Curious is a radical takedown of the myths that keep so many of us drinking. Inspiring, timely, and blame-free, Sober Curious is both conversation starter and handbook – essential information that empowers listeners to transform their relationship with alcohol so they can lead their most fulfilling lives. It’s available as a book and audiobook.

  1. Craig Beck

Further to his book above, Craig is a self-proclaimed ‘stop drinking expert’ and ‘quit drinking coach’  and offers Youtube videos, a bootcamp and personal coaching for those looking to give up alcohol.

  1. Kevin Griffin

Kevin Griffin is a Buddhist author, teacher, and leader in the mindful recovery movement. Kevin teaches internationally in Buddhist centres, treatment centres, professional conferences, and academic settings. He specialises in helping people in recovery to connect with meditation and a progressive understanding of the 12 Steps. He offers retreats, videos, books and other resources to help people give up alcohol.

Podcasts recommended by Daybreakers and the Hello Sunday Morning community

  1. Home with Laura McKowen and Holly Whitaker (soundcloud)

This podcast takes up the big questions of life through the lens of addiction recovery. Each week, it explores a new discussion about  hearts, relationships, life, love and the universe at large.

  1. The Temper by Holly Glenn Whitaker, founder and CEO of Tempest (formerly Hip Sobriety)

“The Temper explores life through the lens of sobriety, addiction, and recovery—with an unapologetically intersectional feminist approach.We acknowledge that whatever we struggle with has fundamentally changed the way we exist in the world. That’s often alcohol, but is just as likely to be food, smoking, social media, overspending—all the things we do to numb ourselves.”

  1. The Bubble Hour hosted by Jean M

The Bubble Hour seeks to inform, educate and help people identify with the stories they hear, the conversations and interviews with people who are just like they are, and let people know they aren’t alone. Nobody can take the first tentative steps towards sobriety without first getting past denial, but even once they are past denial the stigma surrounding alcoholism is so strong that people are reluctant to seek help. The Bubble Hour would like to change that stigma.

  1. Tara Brach

Tara Brach’s teachings blend Western psychology and Eastern spiritual practices, mindful attention to our inner life, and a full, compassionate engagement with our world. The result is a distinctive voice in Western Buddhism, one that offers a wise and caring approach to freeing ourselves and society from suffering.

  1. On being with Krista Tippett

A Peabody Award-winning public radio show and podcast. What does it mean to be human? How do we want to live? And who will we be to each other? Each week a new discovery about the immensity of our lives. Our Daybreakers particularly like this episode with John O’Donohue.

Documentaries, TV series and Movies to help you give up alcohol

  1. Risky Drinking, a documentary by HBO, available on Youtube

Produced by HBO Documentary Films (2015) and the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) of the National Institutes of Health (USA), Risky Drinking is a no-holds-barred look at the drinking epidemic, through the intimate stories of four people whose drinking dramatically affects their relationships.

  1. Drugged: High on Alcohol –  a documentary

In the ‘High on Alcohol’ special edition of ‘Drugged’, viewers were presented with a story that was both a tragedy and a cautionary tale. Ryan, a 28-year-old, drank three pints of vodka a day. Ryan turned to alcohol when his father, who was dependent on alcohol, passed away four years ago.

  1. Drinking to Oblivion – Louis Theroux

Louis Theroux heads to Europe’s largest liver transplant centre where he sees the physical side effects of alcoholism and learns about the challenges doctors, patients and patients’ families face, in trying to treat it.

Apps to help you give up alcohol, stay sober, or for other support

  1. Recovery elevator sobriety app

Recovery Elevator sobriety counter app and the private community offer a safe, informative place, for those who wish to quit drinking. Many find solace and comfort in our cohesive community. They also offer a podcast and sober travel group trips!

  1. Penda app

Launched at Parliament House, Canberra, the Penda App aims to break the cycle of domestic and family violence (DFV) by combining much-needed financial, personal safety and legal information with nationwide referrals. If you are experiencing DVF please contact 1800RESPECT (Australia) for support.

  1. Daisy app

Daisy is an app developed by 1800RESPECT to connect people experiencing violence or abuse to services in their local area. Daisy can be downloaded for free from iTunes or Google Play. Once the app is on your phone, you can use it to search for support services in your local area without them showing up in your browser history.

  1. Calm app

Calm is an app for meditation and mindfulness. It has over 100 guided meditations to help you manage anxiety, lower stress and sleep better. For  beginners through to intermediate and advanced users.

  1. Daybreak app and online program

Of course, this wouldn’t be a complete list of ‘alcohol-free’ resources without mentioning our own app! Daybreak is an online program that helps you change your relationship with alcohol through a supportive community, habit-change experiments, and one-on-one chat with health coaches. We’re really proud of Daybreak and love the feedback we get from our members about how life changing and supportive our app and community are.

Music to be sober to

  1. Alcohol Free (AF) playlists

Find a playlist on your favourite music streaming service, or create your own list of alcohol-free and inspiring songs to keep you motivated, like this one from Hollis Bertsch on Spotify.

  1. Self-love playlists

If you need to dance around the house in your underwear, sing in the shower, or lip synch to karaoke in the car, find a playlist like this one from Deannelove77 on Spotify to love yourself a little more.

If this list is missing something or you want to add your vote for one of the above, please leave a comment below!

This February I participated in my second unofficial Feb Fast. When I completed the first Feb Fast the year before, I did it as part of a group. I finished it and went right back to the way things were. This year, instead of just a month without drinking, the Fast became a re-evaluation of my relationship with alcohol.

Over the last few years I have made decisions reducing processed foods in my diet and reducing the amount of plastic waste I add to landfills. Alcohol consumption had largely escaped my scrutiny. The messages, which I had clearly internalised, were that alcohol is part of celebrations and relaxation. A shiraz after golf, a drink after a hard day at the office and of course drinks with friends, and bubbles to celebrate life’s big moments.  But does it have to be that way?

Feb Fast provided me with the opportunity to say no to alcohol in settings where there was an expectation that I would drink, based on my previous behaviour and on social norms. The program gave me a legitimate reason not to drink, which almost everyone respected.

Feb Fast allowed me to make choices about when and what I would drink. After a day out I now have a sparkling water with a shot of lime and loads of ice as my first drink. A long day at the office may end with a shiraz but I may choose to go for a long walk first. Thinking about drinking in general and my drinking in particular, allowed me to examine the messages I had internalised and whether they were actually appropriate to my lifestyle.

I will also participate in ‘dry July’ this year, for two reasons – one is to continue to strengthen my ability to choose my path and the other is to be a positive role model to my children. My lifestyle is all about making healthy choices and choosing to moderate alcohol consumption is part of that.

Jay.

The last time I drank alcohol was 1 year and 1 month ago.

Why was it so easy to give up drinking?

I can honestly say that there was no decision made to ‘stop drinking’. I simply didn’t have an urge to drink in the months that followed that last drink, and before I knew it, a year had past. Had I told myself back then ‘I’m not drinking for a year’, I probably would have been more likely to do the opposite. Instead, I stayed open to the possibility that I may have a drink if I wanted one in the moment. But I haven’t … yet.

Healthy replacements

When I reflect back on the last year and even the year before that, where I only drank alcohol on a couple of occasions, I see that in this time I had spent most of my weekends on courses learning about how we as human beings run our minds, about how we engage in thinking patterns, and completing my training in human development. Could it be that I have replaced my nights out with this new passion for understanding human behaviour? It seems so.

What I can see now is the more I learn about people and myself, the more I can see the distraction alcohol can provide from ‘reality’. I now no longer need to be distracted, as I am able to understand the impact that our thoughts can have, and the freedom that comes with that. I feel that we are often confusing our ‘constructed thoughts’ with what is real, and too often that results in giving ourselves a hard time.

Setting ourselves up for failure

When we tell ourselves we ‘shouldn’t’ or ‘must not’ do something, we are often more likely to engage in exactly that behaviour. And then if we do ‘fail’ in the goals we’ve set for ourselves, we struggle, judge ourselves, beat ourselves up over this. We feel disappointed or even angry in ourselves for this ‘failure’. We can spend hours, days, weeks feeling this way and as a result, keep repeating unhealthy patterns.

Be kinder to yourself

The less we impose rules on ourselves, the less we beat ourselves up over things, the more likely we are to live as the healthy human beings we want to be! The mind, and how we talk to ourselves, is often the cause of unhealthy cycles, more so than that glass of wine, piece of chocolate, big weekender or shopping spree!

So, can you give yourself a break, be kinder to yourself in those times where you were previously hard on yourself over something? What would that look like for you?

I made a choice in every moment over the last year not to drink alcohol, just as there may be a choice in another moment where I do drink. I am not resisting either as a possibility and I don’t burden myself with unhelpful thoughts anymore around what I ‘should’ be doing in any area of my life. Doing so would keep me stuck in a self-perpetuating cycle.

It’s not always easy to break these habitual patterns, but it is very possible with patience and, if necessary, help from others. Sometimes we can’t see the forest for the trees, so I encourage anyone reading this to reach out for help if you are struggling yourself. You are never alone!

Anita Tomecki

In its earlier days, Hello Sunday Morning encouraged people to “do an HSM challenge” – a period of three, six or 12 months completely without alcohol. I recently started working as Head of Marketing with HSM and decided to get into character by giving this a go for the first quarter of this year. I chose the easy-peasy three-month entry-level point, and at the halfway point of just six weeks, this is what I have found …

So, what happens when you give up the booze?

I imagine it depends on how large booze looms in your life before you jam the cork back in the bottle. In my case, I suspected that my drinking was on the wrong side of the bell-curve, although not to a reckless or unhealthy extent – but maybe I’ve been deluding myself. One time in my 40s I reviewed the previous year and realised that my casual drinking had become habitual, to the point where there probably hadn’t been a single 24-hour period in that 12 months when I wouldn’t have blown over 0.05 in a breathalyser at some stage.

I cooled it a bit on that realisation, but through my 50s I’d still drink nearly daily, although I started to leave a few alcohol-free days in the working week. My drinking left me functional and I had no problems with it domestically (I have a wife who matches me drink for drink). It was normal when compared against my circle of friends, and it was also normal when compared with what I remember of my parents’ drinking.

I like to drink. I don’t like being at the point where I slur my words (and that is quite a low threshold for me), but I certainly enjoy heading in that direction. On normal evenings, when I was working the next day, I would share a bottle of wine with my wife, and often get some way into a second. On weekends, it would be two bottles between us on both Friday and Saturday. I’m not a great one for following expert advice on health, but even I could work out that I was consuming up to 35 standard drinks per week, compared to the 14 that is recommended as a safe limit.

So what prompted me to give it up?

Well, I noticed that I functioned better on those days following an alcohol-free day. In particular, I slept very much better. On nights that I drank, I would go to sleep readily, but often wake up after midnight with a racing mind and anxious thoughts. Sometimes this would be accompanied by a hard-beating heart, and a return to sleep was always a few hours away (usually just minutes before the alarm clock went off). It left me feeling like crap the following day, even when there was no detectable hangover. On alcohol-free nights, I would usually sleep right through, and if I did awaken in the night, I could easily fall asleep again.

On working weeks that I went alcohol free, it was clear to me that my alertness, focus and general intellect improved as the week wore on, and I began to wonder if, perhaps, a late-40s career plateau had been partly self-inflicted.

Finally, I recently began to wake up in the mornings with distinctly tender feelings in the kidneys, which would pass after a couple of hours. On days following an alcohol-free night this never happened.

So this year I’ve decided to do a Hello Sunday Morning 3-month challenge: no booze at all until April. I’m now at the six-week midpoint and I’ve noticed some positive things, but I’ve also noticed a few downsides, so here they are in summary:

Upsides of going without alcohol

Sleep. The first and most unmistakable benefit is a great night’s sleep. This kicked in after the first 48 hours, but it also seems to be improving over the six weeks. Not only is the sleep deep and unbroken, but the quality of dreams also seems to have improved: they’ve been more detailed, linger in the memory for longer with an almost cinematic quality to them, and for some reason often feature Her Majesty the Queen (although I realise this last phenomenon may not be universal).

General well-being. You know how your car feels after you’ve just given it a 15,000 km service? You can’t put your finger on it, but everything seems tighter, more responsive and just works better? That’s how I felt at the two week mark, and it hasn’t fallen off yet. I know I would pay a lot of money for a vitamin supplement that had this effect.

Energy and focus. There’s been a small but definite improvement in my work performance, particularly in my ability to concentrate, organise and generally be ‘present’ during meetings. The effect carries over when I get home. Just the other night, I ate my dinner and then carried on painting a spare bedroom from where I’d left off over the weekend. That wouldn’t have happened if I’d opened a bottle of wine first. However, it doesn’t last long into the night, and I’ve been going to bed earlier than usual since starting this dry spell.

Mood. I’m told we all conduct a continuous dialogue with ourselves in our heads during waking hours. Over the past couple of decades, my dialogue has tended towards the unhelpful and self-critical, particularly at 2:00 am when I’m trying to get back to sleep. I think it’s had a corrosive effect on my self-confidence over that time, because I can feel confidence returning during this period.

Downsides to going without alcohol

Something’s missing. I’d got into the habit of coming home, starting the cooking and opening a bottle of wine each day. For the first few weeks I felt uneasy during the 5:00–7:00 pm window – like I’d forgotten to do something important. A glass in hand was a prop for the post working-day chit-chat with my wife, and it felt odd without the wine. It’s also noticeable that our conversation doesn’t flow or digress onto tangents in quite the same way.

Twinges. Every now and then, quite out of the blue, I get a pang of regret that I won’t be opening a bottle of shiraz tonight. It passes.

NA substitutes. During the first few weeks we tried some of the non-alcoholic options that are available, with mixed results. To my surprise, the non-alcoholic beers were pretty good. It’s obvious at first sip that Cooper’s Birell is non-alcoholic, but if you accept it for what it is, then it’s a very pleasant thirst-quenching lager-style drink. Carlton Zero actually does taste like a nicely hoppy-flavoured beer, but tends to bloat a bit. Other than the beers, there don’t seem to be any ersatz products that have the same satisfying depth of flavour of a wine or spirit. The NA wines were pretty dire; the whites were too sweet, and the reds were flat, like a bottle that has been left open for a couple of weeks. We also tried the non-alcoholic distilled botanicals which are promoted as an alternative to gin. For the life of me, I couldn’t detect the connection. One of them tasted like water that had recently been used to boil peas, and the taste of all of them was too weak to survive a mixer. (However, my wife really likes the Brunswick Aces with tonic water.)

Adverts. I’m realising now just how powerful adverts for booze are. They ambush you with a desire when you’re going dry, and either the industry has recently doubled its advertising spend, or the ads have always been all over the place. Product placement also works well on me. I’ve never been much of a spirit drinker before, but the sight of a couple of fingers of golden scotch being poured in a Netflix series gets me thinking “Mmmm – whiskey …” The cues are everywhere!

People’s reactions. This is quite a complex one, and I might expand on this at the three month mark. Most people don’t give a damn if you’re not drinking, and that’s great. However, some people take it as passive-aggressive criticism of their own drinking, or as a dismissal of their culture, almost a form of apostasy. I’m building a repertoire of responses beyond “mind your own business”, and I’ll give them a test run for the remainder of the 3-month trial.

Which brings me to contemplation of my return to boozing in April. On the one hand, I’ve got my eye on the exact bottle of shiraz for opening on 1 April. But on the other hand …

The last couple of weeks have been quite easy as I settle into new habits while still noticing the benefits, and I’m tempted to stretch this out to a 6-month HSM challenge period. I remember once reading an interview with Mel Gibson (okay, not the best choice of role model, perhaps – but this was about 20 years ago) who was talking about the benefits of staying off the grog. He said the real benefits don’t kick in until 6 months, but that most people simply don’t have the patience to last that long.

That’s got me curious …

Roger

Newsletter

Join the 70,000 people who get our latest blog, media articles and personal stories delivered to their inbox every week

Sign up to our newsletter
We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. To find out more about how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.
Ok