A man’s relationship with alcohol can take many different forms. Men and alcohol can be the best mates or the worst mates. Alcohol can be something you enjoy quietly by yourself and it can be something you enjoying wildly with others. Rarely, though, is it something us men talk about. But I’d be lying if I said it was something we didn’t think about.

As a 20-year-old, I knew that my relationship with alcohol was poor and I needed to get away from it for a while. The problem was that when I felt this way, I had mates who were in the midst of a love affair with booze and wanted me to join them for the weekend. I, too, was guilty of persuading (forcefully, mind you) friends who wanted to take a break from the beers, to forget about how they were feeling and have five or 10 too many with me.

Us men know that too much booze isn’t good for our health, but we love our mates and we’d do anything for them.

Herein lies the problem: for many men, seeing mates and having a drink go hand in hand

I have a good group of mates. We talk to each about how we’re feeling and what is going on in our lives. We share in each other’s successes and support one another when we’re struggling.

But alcohol has this interesting effect on us. In pairs or smaller groups, it’s not a big deal if booze isn’t around. But as the group swells, so does the expectation that alcohol will come along with it. We never even consider a gathering of 5-10 of us without a few beers to go along with it.

A Harvard study on men’s health found surprising results about men and alcohol

In 1938, Harvard University began tracking the health of 268 Harvard sophomores and continued to do so for nearly 80 years, expanding the study to include the original men’s children, who today are in their 50s and 60s. The study found two things that I find incredibly interesting about men and alcohol.

First it found that loneliness kills, and its effects are as powerful as smoking or alcohol dependence. According to the study, those with strong social support experience fewer mental health difficulties as they age. Second, it found that those who avoided drinking alcohol to excess tended to live longer, enjoy better health and were happier.

Here it was, a proven fact that maintaining close friendships is one of the most important influences on your health. This becomes a problem because so many Australian friendships are formed and maintained with alcohol. Most of the time this isn’t a problem; men can drink and not have it affect their lives. But often, as is the case for nearly half a million men in Australia, alcohol destroys their careers, their health and those very relationships that keep them mentally well.

Enter Movember, when the great moustache army swarmed the nation

Men and alcohol: Hello Sunday Morning does Movember

This month is the perfect opportunity to bring the issue of men and alcohol to light. On Daybreak, Hello Sunday Morning’s award-winning program that supports people to change their relationship with alcohol, 70% of members are women. But it’s not because women are more likely to have a complicated relationship with alcohol. It’s because women are more likely to reach out for support to change it.

Us blokes are getting better at talking about our feelings and our families. But often we’ll do this over a drink, even if we don’t feel like one.

The official Movember website lists prostate cancer, mental health, suicide and testicular cancer as the key areas of men’s health they support. All of these are significant issues that affect thousands of men across the country and prevent them from living the happier, healthier and longer lives that Movember Foundation wants for them.

The scale of the issue

Many don’t realise that alcohol kills more men across Australia than our suicide rate and road toll combined.

And with prostate cancer the second leading cause of cancer death, research has shown that blokes who have more than five drinks a day increase their risk of prostate cancer by 18%.

The challenge is to find ways to connect with our mates, or develop friendships with new ones, without relying on alcohol to do so. It’s not an easy challenge and one that I still don’t have a great answer too. I’m one of the lucky men who have a sport I love to play and have time to play it. That helps. I’ve also got close mates who I’ve known since I was 12 years old (I’m 30 now). But not all men are lucky enough to have this. Many men struggle to find a place they fit or struggle to reach out for help when they need it.

Join the conversation at Hello Sunday Morning or visit Movember Foundation and help a mate today.

Written by Jamie Moore, Hello Sunday Morning General Manager.

Meeting the family of your significant other is an important part of being in a relationship. That said, it is almost universally agreed that the experience can be nerve-racking. In this week’s animation we explore the experience and the roles that alcohol may play in it.

But while moderating the night before seems like an easy win on paper, it takes a lot more to make your desired first impression. We’ve put together a checklist of things to consider before you meet the parents – or any other stressful social engagement.

How to conquer meeting the parents:

Attitude

You got this! Let’s be honest: appearances do count.

Go in with a positive and open attitude. As memorable former leader of the United Kingdom, Winston Churchill, once stated, “attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”

Contemporary research into positive attitudes suggests that almost everything is best approached in this way, not barring meeting your partner’s parents. So even though it may be tempting, try not to dwell on things that could go wrong. Think instead of all the things that could go right! With this frame in mind, you are more likely to be relaxed and be yourself.

Appearance

No matter how superficial it seems, we’ve got to be honest with ourselves that appearances and first impressions do count. From what you wear to how you hold conversation, all of these things are open to scrutiny. What’s more, these impressions take only seconds to form. But luckily, getting in a good first impression isn’t too onerous:

  • Usually, you should dress simple and conservative for the occasion, but it may be worth asking your partner about the level of formality their family usually dines in. At the end of the day, do make sure you feel comfortable as this ease will shine.
  • Remember to bring a gift. You needn’t go overboard but it is a nice gesture, and chocolate is always appreciated.  
  • Mind your manners. While dinner table etiquette is generally not as archaic as it used to be, it doesn’t hurt to be polite. Please and thank you!
  • Stay off your phone. Clearly this is also basic dinner table etiquette, but given the difficulty of this task we thought it could do with its own bullet point.

 

Intention

Think about what you will drink before and during the big meeting Plan your drinking ahead of time.

Why are you meeting your partner’s family? Of course, you want them to like you, but perhaps consider it in terms of trying to actually get to know them. Your other half has spent most their life around these folks; what are they like? You are spending time with someone you care about and their family, so while it is natural to be nervous, it could ultimately end up being an enjoyable experience. So do what you would normally do during a dinner or social gathering with people you care about; offer to help out; feed the conversation; and enjoy the food. Simply put, plan to be a good house guest.

Perspective

Finally, put things into perspective. Just like the point above, think about why you are there in the first place. In fact, try framing it as though you are finally getting the chance to meet the family. Relax. Don’t overthink it. Do it for them!

Drinking

Will you be drinking? You may be feeling tempted to use the booze to help with nerves. But did you know that alcohol can actually aggravate symptoms of anxiety? Ultimately, you are the expert on your own drinking. Whether you are having a couple of drinks or none, pick your limit and stick to it. Discuss your plan with your partner so that you are both in the know.

Considered all of the above? Yes? Then go forth, greet with confidence and do it for them!

The prospect of going sober to a wedding is daunting. Weddings and booze go hand in hand so often that they should be the ones walking down the aisle.  

Despite this (or, more likely, because of this) the achievement is not only possible, but can be life-changing. Data from our app suggests that attending a wedding sober is the single most powerful way to change your relationship with alcohol in the long term.

Going sober to a wedding is no small feat, so here we have considered the burning questions you’re probably asking in anticipation of the big day.

How to go to a wedding sober

What will people say?  

Words of encouragement were as rare as a good wedding DJ

One of the most difficult challenges when going sober to a social event is dealing with other people. Weddings are among the trickiest – you may only know a handful of people, and chances are they themselves will be imbibing. When people ask why you are not drinking, remember that it typically comes from someone who themselves associates alcohol with having fun. Most likely they’re just concerned that you’re not enjoying yourself. Plus, you’re actually in a great place to meet new people; just like Lionel Richie’s hit from the 80s, it all starts with hello.

So let your hair down, make a new friend and keep that sense of humour.

What should I drink?

This my dear friends, is a coco twist mocktail

Something we hear a lot from Hello Sunday Morning members is a fear of being caught without a glass in hand during these occasions. The age old question ‘What am I supposed to hold in my hands?’ arises. The answer can be as complicated as a glass of barrel aged cherry soda. Or as simple as soda water, maybe in a wine glass if you’re feeling ritzy. There are even people trying to replicate the taste of alcohol in non-alcoholic beverages – the options these days are endless. So get creative! And remember that at the end of the day you are the only person who cares about what is in your glass.

What if I slip up?

It was time for my big day

The most important thing to do is plan. By reading this post you’re already well on your way.

What will the day look like for you? What about the day after the wedding? If you’re at one of those ever-popular weekend weddings, take the chance to explore your surroundings. Close to home? Volunteer for breakfast duty. Either way, think up something fun to do the next morning. You might also want to nominate yourself as designated driver, giving you another reason to say no to a brew. There is power in planning.

But, hey, if you do decide to have a drink, try setting a speed limit of one drink an hour and see how you feel.

Weddings are fun!

First wedding worm without a bloody nose!

Most important of all, you are at a celebration! Without alcohol, weddings are still enjoyable places to be. You are surrounded by amazing food, wonderful people and have free rein to dance up a storm.

So shine your shoes, grab some confetti and get ready to take on this challenge!

 

Hello Sunday Morning men playing basketball for Dry July. Change your relationship with alcohol.

This week, Australians from all walks of life will embark on a month without alcohol in support of Dry July, an initiative to raise money for cancer alongside remarkably similar campaigns such as FebFast and Ocsober.

But it’s not all beer and skittles: there is an active debate about the long-term effectiveness of these programs. A number of limitations from a public health perspective include a lack of long term support for the behaviour change process, and confusing people with an “all or nothing” message about alcohol. The option of buying a “golden ticket,” for example, allows the purchaser to take a night off from the challenge and is considered by critics to encourage binge drinking. In terms of cultural change, seeing a brief period of abstinence as an inherently monstrous task probably serves to reinforce the importance of alcohol in our lives and proves ultimately ineffective, if not destructive.  

But don’t get us wrong: it’s great to hear the volume increasing when we talk about alcohol consumption. We’re here to help you use movements like Dry July as steps towards a more conscious drinking culture, and change your own relationship with alcohol.

How to use Dry July to change your relationship with alcohol

Feel good about it

Some of us feel fine about our relationship with alcohol. However, it is only when we take a break and realise how our bodies and minds feel without it that we begin to second guess ourselves. This realisation can be the first stepping stone to delve a little deeper and become a more conscious drinker.

Find support during the challenge

Let’s not kid ourselves: entirely avoiding alcohol for a month is an arduous task, and support goes a long way. Whether you have some mates doing the challenge with you, or turn to the Hello Sunday Morning community, knowing that others are with you can make all the difference. Many members of the Hello Sunday Morning community have done similar challenges and felt empowered by their achievement.

Never thought I'd get though a Febfast unbroken, its quite amazing. Interesting seeing peoples reactions to me not drinking, some supportive, some curious, some slightly disgruntled that I'm sticking to it. The last are the most interesting and they made me even more determined to see this through. This is the longest time in 5 years that I have gone without a drink. Feels strange, somewhat comforting yet sort of annoying that I can't or wont have a drink. Will take it one day at a time, want to stay off the grog, whilst at the same time, wish to have a glass of something. Know I cant have 'just one drink', because if I do it will lead to more and I will be back at square one.
Challenges like Dry July have been great for Hello Sunday Morning members.

New Perspectives

When members of the Hello Sunday Morning community have taken a break from alcohol in the past, their understanding of how we use alcohol in our social lives has evolved. According to our app data, attending a wedding sober and celebrating without alcohol, are most likely to lead to a change in your relationship with alcohol. Dry July similarly encourages participants to realise that alcohol is not a necessary component of socialising. No doubt over the month, those partaking in the challenge will be attending social events, entirely alcohol-free. For some people this may well be a first.

Approach

Most importantly, you should approach a challenge like Dry July mindfully. What does not drinking for a month mean for you? For your identity, for how you understand your relationship with alcohol? This also means allowing yourself to feel empowered rather than restricted during the challenge. By consciously reflecting on the process, you can reframe any ‘missteps’ as part of your journey, rather than as failures.

Dry July is a great opportunity to start changing your relationship with alcohol and say “Hello” to more Sunday mornings. We’re here to help.

 

Maintaining friendships is difficult when you change your relationship with alcohol. But while socialising feels like it’s built around alcohol, it doesn’t need to be.

Brunch is a rising epidemic. From the humble weekly hangout through to birthdays and weddings, brunch is the answer to all and everything. But when your pals are faithful pub patrons, how do you convince them to switch from Saturday night drinks to Sunday morning brunch?

How to catch up with friends without alcohol

Remind them of the power of food as a uniting force.

Humans have been socialising over meals for most of our history. Believe it or not, brunch itself has been around for at least 100 years. However, its form today is nothing short of celestial as food has matured into much more than simple sustenance.

Brunch and catching up with friends without alcohol with Hello Sunday Morning Are your mates at brunch, too?

Variety

Brunch is eggs, brunch is burritos and brunch is cake. No other meal compares in variety. Plus, because you are squeezing two meals into one, you can eat all of this without the guilt. Would you like ice cream with your pancakes, bacon and eggs? We say, why not?

Oh, excuse me! Can I get some vegan maple syrup? … with my deconstructed bacon dust?

Brunch pleases everyone

This is the one meal where the vegetarian options might outdo the carnivorous ones. Mums can bring their babies (both human and canine welcome) and while we don’t condemn infants in inns, the practice is typically frowned upon. Don’t like dressing up? Active wear is on trend. Single and looking? Cafés are the ideal sanctuary to survey other humans over your steaming latte. Brunch is for the people!

Connection

Succeeded only by therapy in terms of value for your emotional well-being, brunch time is an essential component of a healthy life (and healthy Instagram feed).

Lifelong friendships have long been carved in between swathes of smashed avo and vibrant free range yolks. The conversation you have with a mate at the pub, bellowing and gesticulating over noise in that crowded echo chamber, just doesn’t compare. For social connection, brunch is the clear winner. Succeeded only by therapy in terms of value for your emotional well-being, brunch time is an essential component of a healthy life (and healthy Instagram feed).

Hello Sunday Morning and meaningful friendships without alcohol over brunch To me, it’s the most meaningful time of the week

The brunch boom

Where the pub reigned for most of Australian history, brunch venues are taking up residence. They allow us to meet like-minded people in open settings, and provide a place for cultivation of identity and examination of meaning.

You don’t need to give up your social life when you change your relationship with alcohol. Invite your friends to say Hello Sunday Morning over brunch.

Photo taken by Editor_b

There seems to be quite a lot of debate of late about the Brisbane Nightclub’s 2am Lockdown proposal.

Firstly, I must say that I am incredibly impressed by the way social media has been used to enroll a population of young people that are against it. 14,500 members on the Facebook group. Damn. That’s almost a third of the entire Australian Army!

Secondly, I want to disclose that I completely understand why the powers at be have proposed what they want to do. There are more people on Brunswick St on a Friday or Saturday night than there is on any night at Cavill during schoolies. I dare you to go through there sober, there are munted people everywhere! It’s crazy. I honestly have to take my hat off to the vastly outnumbered police, they really are paid to bear the brunt of our weekend indiscretions. I can understand why they would want to give up in desperation. I’m guessing the lockdown is probably the result of one of a police person getting badly hurt and they are now throwing their hands up.

However, thirdly (and more importantly) locking people out of a nightclub at 2am isn’t going to stop the problem of binge drinking, or by extension, the problem of violence. That’s pretty obvious. One way or another, unless there is a shift in an individual’s psychology, the individual will do whatever it takes to express that which they currently express through drinking or fighting. The more we try and contain a psychological problem (binge drinking) with laws and regulations, the more that psychological problem will manifest into something else. A 2am lock out might stop the violence for a couple of hours in the morning but it won’t stop the violence.

I believe that we need to work together (young people, police, government and the industry) and agree to work together to change those parts of our culture that has made this mess in the first place, rather than glorify them. We need to commit to an understanding of acceptable behaviour that is self-regulated by the expectations of our peers rather than enforced by others.

As a young person, every time we ignore when one of our mates writes themselves off or gets into a bit trouble without saying anything, we are actually condoning their dysfunctional behaviour and ultimately we are forcing the hands of the authorities. If we fail to stand up, the Brisbane nightclub’s 2am lockdown is just the start. That is how it is.

For more information, here are some articles from Brisbanetimes.com on the facebook group and the lockdown plan.

To find out why a person drinks to excess, here are a couple of previous posts on the topic; Identity, Confidence, Emotional Intelligence.

The last couple of weeks I have been watching a lot of people on the news point their finger and throw their hands up in desperation. I really want to step up our efforts in finding a way to use Hello Sunday Morning as a vehicle to shift Australia’s Binge Drinking Culture.

As such, this is the brief version of my ‘HSM 5 Finger Plan’. Please pull it apart and chuck in your ideas and suggestions. This is what we will be presenting back to government at the end of the project so your input is highly important to me! C.

Stage 1) DEVELOP THE BRAND

Further develop the Hello Sunday Morning brand

Young people communicate through brands. We hope to build the Hello Sunday Morning brand into an accessible and attractive symbol for a healthy drinking. We need to provide ways for people to get behind the brand if they believe in what it stands for. Events, merch, opportunities etc.

Stage 2) GET GOOD PEOPLE BEHIND IT

Identify and engage the right kind of brand advocates

At the moment, our resources have only permitted for one brand advocate to go through the program (moi). But we need to get other, more influential young people involved to really kick the project’s effectiveness into gear. We need to inspire and engage the right kind of young person to wear and believe in what the brand stands for. What would it take to get them on board?

Stage 3) SHIFT THEIR MINDSET

Change they way they look at alcohol

We then need to provide them with opportunities, experiences and responsibility that shifts their psychological belief systems around why they feel they ‘need’ to drink to excess. We would need to develop an attractive 3/6 month  program that they can be coached through to ensure that their psychology around alcohol does shift.

Stage 4) MAKE THE SHIFT VISIBLE

Use social media to get the word out there.

Each person has around 150-200 people that they have direct influence over. Our job is to ensure that the shift in the advocate’s psychology is vividly displayed to every one of their 200+ people. We do this by providing them with an expansive range of social media tools and skills that make sure their change is seen. This would include video, audio and writing material that would be displayed on the Hello Sunday Morning website and through their respective social media accounts.

Upon the success of the initial brand ambassador program, Hello Sunday Morning would then conduct a similar initiative around in the other capital cities in Australia. This will then inspire young people from different areas to take more notice of the possibilities and make the program relevant to them. This process could potentially even be replicated in a rural area or have a collective of rural young people connecting together online.

Stage 5) GIVE IT TO THE PEOPLE

Provide a way for any and every young Australian to do their own Hello Sunday Morning.

My favourite part!! We need to build an attractive digital resource that provides an opportunity for ANY young Australian to go through a similar process of transformation. Similarly, they will be provided with the tools, support and strategy to communicate their change amongst their respective sphere of influence.

A) Online

Develop a strong online community where young people can track their growth, compare where they are at with that growth and get support for their individual journey. Furthermore, Hello Sunday Morning would provide materials for those in the community to access to support them through the process (vodcast, podcasts, books etc.).

B) Offline

Ideally, would need to provide and promote amazing things for young people to do on the weekends that aren’t centered around drinking. Potentially we could work out what the average Australian young person would spend on alcohol each week and then make each week’s activity cheaper than that (visually representing this in the promotion of HSM). Ideas??

I want Hello Sunday Morning to be a place where young people can shift Australia’s binge drinking culture within ourselves, with our own two hands. What do you you all think??

What does it mean to drink alcohol ‘in moderation? There are so many definitions, standards and doctor-words out there I don’t think anyone really has any idea how much alcohol we should drink.

'How much shall I drink?'

(more…)

There are two key points of reference that a young person draws from their sense of identity from when it comes to drinking behaviour – advertising and role modelling. This post is about that beautifully inspiring yet disgustingly manipulative social metronome – advertising.

Bacardi Poster

(more…)
We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. To find out more about how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.
Ok