empathy Archives | Hello Sunday Morning

Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people should be aware that this article may contain images, voices and names of people who have passed away.

On the route that I usually took for my regular afternoon walk, I came across two boulders. They were sitting side by side like an elderly couple watching the sunsets together for many decades. On one of the boulders was engraved: ‘Recognising the past leads to a better future’.

On February 13^th, ten years ago, the 26^th Prime Minister of Australia made an apology to Indigenous Australians. An apology on behalf of those who mistreated Indigenous Australians and recognising the hurt and pain caused to the Stolen Generations.

Forgiveness is costly, but mistakes and bad decisions will be common for as long as we breathe and walk on this planet. However common it is, and whatever the reasons we have, what we do next should not be intended to justify wrongdoing. Rather, it’s about what we do with those mistakes and how we find ways to deal with our regrets.

I was reminded of how closely related it is to recognising my past, in the journey to better my relationship with alcohol. My behaviour under the influence of alcohol is not one that I’m proud of. For years I have been in denial that alcohol helps me to function better, relate to others better or to enjoy the evening better. Until it became apparent to me that drinking alcohol had become my identity. It was a toxic relationship. I’m a five-foot-tall woman; I bragged about how much alcohol I could take in, and made a show of it to win the approval of my peers. As a result, what used to be fun nights turned into regretful nights. There was a time when I wasted my whole weekend to get over the hangover. This cycle continued until a cost had to be paid for the damage I’d done.

There is a Japanese art of repairing broken pottery, called Kintsugi. This technique involves gluing broken pieces of pottery with gold in order to recreate a new piece out of the broken parts. It is an art of accepting our past to rebuild our future.

Kintsugi, the art of repairing broken pottery.

This might be as relatable to you as it is for me. How can we learn to see mistakes and regrets in order to piece them together with the golden glue of healing? What do we do to repair those broken parts and restore the broken pottery of our future? What actions would you take to repair the past?

A few ideas that I find helpful would be to practise self-care, surround myself with positive people, learn the art of letting go and find 10 moments of happiness in my day.

Everyone is on a different journey with their relationship with alcohol. Whether you are in the contemplation stage or the maintenance stage, or even the relapse stage, we hope this beautiful boulder reminds you that acknowledgement is part of moving forward.

Although the apology speech was given on 13 February, our National Sorry Day is held on May 26 each year. This day gives people the chance to come together and share the steps towards healing for the Stolen Generations, their families and communities.

When it comes to drinking, friends and family are often the first to show concern about someone they love. But sometimes we don’t know how to start a conversation about alcohol with someone we care about. What if they take offense? What if they get angry or defensive? What if it makes their drinking worse?

A new campaign aims to empower people concerned about the harmful impact of their loved ones’ drinking to have a potentially life-changing talk.

Hello Sunday Morning and VicHealth’s The Talk We Needed campaign provides information to friends and family members of drinkers who want to learn how to support their loved one to change their drinking practices.The campaign features everyday people who have been supported by their friends and family to re-think alcohol’s harmful influence on their life.

A range of resources are available online including:

Tips on what to say and what not to say to someone you’re worried about
Stories and videos from drinkers and what they found helpful for them
How to prepare and have the talk
Health effects of drinking and how to minimise your harm from alcohol products
Facts on why people may drink
Phone and other online counselling resources

At Hello Sunday Morning, many people who weren’t aware of how much they were drinking told us they were open to being approached from a non-judgemental place and often credit the support of a friend or family member for why they were able to cut back or stop drinking.

Leonie Moekette, a mother of two, from Ballarat in Victoria decided to take part in the campaign based on her own positive experience of a friend reaching out to her about her drinking through social media. “I was so ashamed I had a secret life going on, I was looking after the boys, I was working, I was the perfect daughter…I was a perfect secretive drinker,” Leonie said. “No one approached me and I wish they had, I would’ve appreciated that. My sister’s best friend actually posted about her own story on social media and reached out to me. “She was that comforting, nurturing, friendly person on the other end of social media. If she hadn’t given me the chance to tell my story I wouldn’t be where I am today without her reaching out.”

The Talk We Needed seeks to leverage friends and family close to drinkers to listen, socialise without alcohol and support them. By targeting friends and family rather than people who drink, the campaign hopes to educate and increase awareness of how best to support someone whose drinking habits are of concern. By creating a different, empathetic message which has come from the perspective of a drinker about what helped them, it is hoped the resources will guide others to support someone to change.

Do you know someone who would benefit from having a talk about alcohol? Have you tried to talk to them before? Head to the page for more information and to plan a chat that could change their life. http://www.thetalkweneeded.com/