The NIAAA defines a binge drinker as someone who consumes more than five standard drinks in one sitting. If every Australian was asked to put their hand up if they know someone who has had this many drinks on a weekend (or if they do themselves), it would probably look like a national Mexican wave.

When we think about binge drinking, often we imagine teenagers or young adults downing pints of beer or spirits, and getting into tricky situations, having to go to hospital, making regrettable decisions and generally being pretty messy. One thing that might surprise you is that, statistically, some groups of older adults are alongside their younger counterparts in being classified as ‘binge drinkers’.

Binge drinking is something that many older adults might be in the habit of doing, either at home with their partners, or while out with friends. Think about barbecues, dinner parties, long lunches … situations where there is lots of alcohol available, no real limits on time, and surrounded by others who are drinking similar quantities.

Drinking to celebrate or ‘cut loose’

Often in these situations it is expected that people will be drinking to get drunk, and drunken behaviour is either tolerated or celebrated – maybe it is part of a bonding experience or a way to relax. Often it is something that we don’t really think of as being unusual or problematic if it is all around us and everyone is doing the same thing. Sometimes it is only when we start to experience the harms of binge drinking, like health issues, mood issues the following day, or consequences from decisions made when drinking, that we might consider making changes.

Binge drinking amongst older adults has been in the spotlight lately, most notably for the fact that as we get older, our bodies respond differently to alcohol and so drinking to excess can have much more significant effects than when we were younger. In addition to this, there are all the other risks that arise when we are drinking to excess. Things like falling over, risky behaviour, drink driving or even getting involved in altercations. Adults who are binge drinking might describe feeling really ashamed about some of the situations they find themselves in, saying things like;

‘I should know better, I’m an adult!’, or ‘I can’t believe I got so bad, I’m really embarrassed’.

As adults we like to feel in control and often have lots of responsibilities and so it can be frightening to find ourselves in situations where we can’t remember what happened, or being told that we behaved in a certain way because of alcohol.

The health effects of binging

Doctors will often advise those over 50 to moderate their alcohol consumption, with an increased risk of all types of cancer, heart disease, diabetes, kidney and liver disease seen in high-risk drinkers over this age. For us, we see a lot of Daybreak members making the decision to step away from binge drinking around this age. This is due to a number of reasons, including health, mood, and also a desire to socialise in a more moderate and balanced way. Many people actually find that when they cut back on their drinking, social occasions are a lot more manageable (fewer hangovers and consequences) and they will be able to focus on interacting with friends and loved ones, rather than drinking to excess.

If you think you’re at risk of binge drinking, or you fit into the category of someone who is drinking in excess regularly, here are some ideas to start to make changes:

Monitor your drinking for a week – just keep track of how much you drink by taking note on your phone. Consider how much you’d like to be drinking and how much would be reasonable for you to aim for. Consider the situations in which you might be wanting to drink less and the situations where no change is needed.

Try implementing some replacement behaviours – like soda water or even low-alcohol beer or wine, to see if this will help to reduce the amount you are consuming in a session. Even a few glasses of soda water with lime is going to help your body to process alcohol if you are drinking. Often we tend to binge when those around us are drinking heavily, there are no limitations, and we are drinking on an empty stomach, so see if you can address these issues.

Take note of the ‘culture’ in your friendship group – is it around getting drunk together, and if so, what might you like to change about this? Sometimes this can be the biggest challenge – saying no to that extra drink and needing to explain that you are cutting back, and why. Try experimenting with this and some possible reasons you may have for cutting back, including health, or even saying ‘I’m taking a break for a while, to see what it’s like without alcohol’.

Talk to those around you about creating goals– for reducing the amount you are drinking. Discuss with them how much is ‘enough’ and what kind of relationship with alcohol you might like to form. Maybe your partner or friends are also noticing the cumulative effects of alcohol on their bodies and mood. Perhaps consciously changing the drinking culture in your home might help turn things around and give you a boost.

Consider situations where you generally don’t drink as much and look at what helps in that situation – is it knowing you have a limit (e.g. driving), or is it situations where you’ve eaten beforehand, or are with people you know aren’t big drinkers? See if you can use these existing situations to inform future plans. Similarly, consider the situations where you tend to drink heavily, what is happening there? Is there an expectation that you’ll drink, and a situation that supports this (e.g. staying overnight, unlimited alcohol).

Ensure that if you are going to a party or social event, that you have eaten – or are going to eat something to balance the effect of alcohol on your stomach. Many people will experience gastrointestinal issues as a result of drinking on an empty stomach, this means that the alcohol impacts us more quickly, as well as irritating the stomach lining and leading to further health issues.


If you find you need extra support to help you change, check out Hello Sunday Mornings’ mobile behaviour change program, Daybreak.

What is health coaching?

It may seem like a lot of people are becoming ‘life coaches’ or a ‘health coaches’ these days. This may be due to the stimulation and choice offered by our western society. This can sometimes leave us feeling confused about our purpose or “off-track”.

Coaches all specialise in different areas to help people get back on the path to achieving their lifestyle goals. These goals could be around personal relationships, career, body image and weight issues, physical health or mental health.

Coaching is based on a one-on-one conversation that follows certain principles and uses skills to encourage people to explore their current situation. It also helps people to look at aspects of their lives that may be in need of some TLC and inspires them to come up with ideas for creating positive change.

Often coaches first find out where the change is needed (in our case, alcohol use) and why it is important to the person. From there a coach helps them explore what’s stopping them from succeeding and together they brainstorm possible strategies to overcome these obstacles. This helps the coach and person develop a plan to move forward.

Health coaches can also give support with mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, stress management and relationship issues – however, if these issues are significantly affecting members they may also recommend face to face treatment with a psychologist or psychiatrist.

Health coaches for alcohol use

Our coaches work on our mobile program, Daybreak, to help people to overcome conditions that have resulted from lifestyle choices. After establishing why the person is reaching out for extra support, the health coach asks them to share a bit about how long it has been an issue. They then explore what kinds of triggers there are, for example, negative emotions, stress, social situations. Once the coach has worked out what role alcohol is playing, they can start to look at ways to manage this.

Generally if the coach and the member can find ways to meet the needs that are currently being met by alcohol, then usually the urges become reduced.

The needs could be around stress management, relaxation or lowering inhibitions.

Everyone is different

The main thing to understand when it comes to changing a relationship with alcohol is that different strategies work for different people.

Thousands of people with an alcohol dependency have really benefited from a program where they can attend in-person group meetings or have one-on-one support to help them on their journey of change. Others have changed the way they drink by visiting a psychologist/counsellor to help them unpack the issues underlying the reason that they are drinking in the first place. This could be due to mental health struggles like depression or anxiety, past experiences, PTSD and a vast array of physiological issues that may trigger a desire to drink to excess.

Is online coaching effective?

Online coaching also has its benefits and works for certain people who can’t necessarily access face-to-face therapy. This could be due to where they live if they are in remote communities, financial situations or other reasons. Online coaching offers a space where people can access help and support whenever they need it without having to book in an appointment or be put on a waiting list.

If you’re a busy mother with three kids and working full time, you might not have the opportunity to take yourself to a few meetings a week. Online treatment like Daybreak provides people with access all day everyday to support from a community of people in the same situation and the option to chat to health coaches if they need one-on-one advice.

Through Daybreak, we have also found that the safety of anonymity online and the anonymity of the health coaches helps people open up faster and be more honest about their situation and their drinking.

To read more about Daybreak, and find out how our online treatment works, or download the app to chat to a health coach, visit https://www.hellosundaymorning.org/daybreak/

We have all heard about the idea of the ‘inner child’ – but what does it mean, and how does it relate to alcohol use?

Some theories of psychology refer to the inner child as a part of us that exists inside our adult selves. Theories differ, but broadly the idea is that we all have a part of us that is quite vulnerable, playful, emotional and intuitive. A part that emerges in certain situations, often in times of loss or high emotion.

This can be a useful way to view our reactions or responses to things. For example, if we are having an unusually strong emotional reaction to something, or are feeling especially vulnerable, we might consider that our inner child is being triggered and is in need of some comforting.

How does the ‘inner child’ relate to my drinking?

Often, situations that were painful for us as children (being left alone or being bullied) might trigger the inner child within us and remind us of old wounds. Consider a person who experienced the loss of a parent in childhood. This loss would have been painful and confusing for them. As adults, future experiences of loss for those people might also bring up those feelings of loneliness, fear and abandonment.

The Internal Family Systems therapy framework can help us understand our strong emotional responses to things. This can also be helpful understanding a connection with alcohol use.

Here are some ways that these two can relate:

If we find ourselves experiencing things which are frightening or make us feel vulnerable. This could be related to relationship issues, failure, or criticism. When we feel like this we might try to dampen down those vulnerable emotions with alcohol to try and restore a sense of calm. Alcohol can also make the inner child emotions even more intense. We can find ourselves feeling heightened emotions after a few drinks, so we can quickly become overwhelmed.

Our ‘walls’ that normally keep our emotions within manageable ranges can get knocked down with alcohol (and not always in a good way). There are well established links in the literature between difficult experiences in childhood and alcohol use. This is mainly because alcohol is often used as a strategy for managing difficult emotions.

So how can we look after our inner child, without the use of alcohol?

Alcohol, as we know, can often makes things worse. It also doesn’t really give us what we need, so here are a few alternate options:

Consider what you need when you are feeling vulnerable – Is your ‘inner child’ in need of comforting, or in need of some fun? What kinds of things might help to manage the emotional pain or distress you are feeling? Finding healthy, adult ways to care for that vulnerable part of yourself can be a huge step in the right direction. You could catch up with friends for a games night, or snuggle up in bed with a pet. Try to find ways to get what you need in that moment, without necessarily turning to alcohol as the first option.

Self Care – Things like a hot shower, playing with pets or sitting down with a book. These are all ways of putting yourself in a positive and comforted emotional state, so that you are more likely to feel safe and content.

Support – Often the ‘inner child’ is in need of comfort, and that can be provided by a phone call to a friend, visit to a counsellor or a family member. Having someone who is able to offer a listening ear and guidance can be invaluable when we are in a vulnerable state.

Healthy Adult – One way to support the ‘inner child’ is to strengthen your ‘healthy adult’. Consider what the capable, adult part of you might do to manage the situation or problem. For example, if the inner child is distressed at a partner’s coldness or lack of attention, the healthy adult part might understand that it is necessary to have a conversation with this partner. The healthy adult will discuss what is happening in the relationship. Although the inner child part may want to avoid that conversation and hide away, we know that sometimes difficult conversations are necessary and useful.

DBT therapy and how it helps inner child issues

One effective therapeutic technique to support the inner child is called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). This approach focuses on emotional regulation and distress tolerance, and can be incredibly helpful in dealing with strong emotions. The idea is that if we have a set of tools that can help to soothe us in times of distress, we will generally be much better off. We will be more able to handle stressful situations like relationship problems, grief or loneliness.

A lot of the DBT techniques seem like common sense, but essentially they work to create a ‘toolbox’ for an individual to use when they are having a difficult time.

DBT is great to use with the ‘inner child’ because it can really help with strong emotions and models healthy adult ways of coping with them. It can help when we recognise situations where we have become overwhelmed with emotion and acted impulsively or harmfully. For example, drinking too much or getting into an argument. We can then look at other ways we could have dealt with the situation (for example, calling a friend or going for a run).

Understanding triggers

The inner child is a helpful framework for understanding some of the things that might trigger alcohol use. For many people, recognising that we all possess a vulnerable and emotional part that can be triggered at certain times, is a useful way of being able to predict and manage challenging emotional moments.

Remember, strong emotions are part of being human. This is particularly if you have a lot of things that you value in your life. It would be unusual not to have strong emotions about family, friendships and the things you really care about. It is how we manage these strong emotions that really matters. The good news is that there are many different and sustainable ways of doing this and a lot of resources to help you should you need it.

Moderation may not be for you, so when you decide you want out, what next?

The cons have started to outweigh the pros when it comes to your drinking habits or you may just be sick of being hungover and not doing the things you love. Maybe you’ve realised that the way you are drinking is leading you down a dangerous path health-wise or you could be jeopardising your relationships with others or yourself.

It is not an overnight decision

Quitting drinking for most people isn’t something they just wake up one morning and say “Okay, I’m going to quit” and that’s that. When you have been doing something for a long time, it becomes a learned behaviour and this is not an easy thing to change. That’s why it is imperative that people seek as much support as they can to help them with this process.

For many people working to change their relationship with alcohol, it is more of a journey and the path is not always clear. It might come with setbacks and ups and downs, but at the end of the day, it is always a positive decision.

Set intentions

When you first decide that you want to change, it is helpful to set out some intentions and visions of what you want your new life to look like. If you think about it, changing your relationship with alcohol is actually a lifestyle change. Your social life may change, you might change the people you surround yourself with, you may change your routine or hobbies.

Ask yourself: What do I want my relationship with alcohol to look like?

Do you want to be able to say no comfortably?
Do you want to be able to talk about why you’ve decided to quit drinking?
Do you want to stop drinking so you can focus on other areas of your life? What are those areas? Family, relationship, career?

What do you do with your spare time?

Often when you cut back or stop drinking altogether, you can find that there is a whole lot of spare time available. It is incredible how long the days can be if you are not recovering from, or using alcohol. For some this is a welcome change and all the things they had previously wished they had time for – like fitness, sober social activities or study – suddenly become doable. For others, however, there can be a bit of a void, and the evenings or weekends can tend to drag on.

Here are some tips for those who have stopped drinking and are asking themselves ‘now what?’

Consider what role alcohol was playing for you. Was it an opportunity to socialise, or to relax? Generally if you can identify what kinds of needs were being met, you can then find ways of achieving this without alcohol.

Take Jeff for example:

Jeff found that going to play poker and trivia were lifesavers when he moved to a new town. He didn’t have many friends and loved the social environment. However, he also found himself drinking most nights of the week and ending up with bad hangovers which affected his performance at work. After considering it for a while, Jeff started playing social basketball a couple of nights a week and only went to trivia every fortnight. At trivia he limited himself to light beer. This way he could get his social fix without necessarily putting himself around alcohol every night.

Or Anna:

Anna found that her nightly glass of wine was a good way to switch off from the day and unwind. It was part of her nightly ritual of making dinner and bathing the kids and she found it hard to stop at one or two. After a while Anna decided that she couldn’t continue on the same path. She found that doing some self-care activities before the nightly rush (such as having a bath and putting on her favourite music while preparing dinner) gave her the opportunity to relax and unwind. It allowed her this downtime without having to tolerate the effects of alcohol the next day.

It will also be helpful to consider what kinds of needs you have at the moment which are currently unmet. These could be things like health or personal growth, things that have not been addressed because you didn’t have the time or capacity to focus on them in the past.

The time after you stop or cut back from drinking can be one of major personal growth. It can be really good to reflect on how you’d like things to change in terms of your relationship with alcohol and with your life in general.

Set goals and monitor your drinking

How much would you like to be drinking and how much would be reasonable for you to aim for? Consider the situations in which you might be wanting to drink less and the situations where no change is needed. Try this for a week and keep track of how much you drink by taking note on your phone. This will help you realise what kind of role alcohol currently plays in your life and will help you reframe what you want your new relationship with alcohol to look like. For example: ‘At the end of the month I would like to be able to just have 3 beers when I’m out with mates.’

Try a few replacement behaviours

When you are at an event, practice ordering drinks like soda water with fresh lime or a mocktail. That way when Dry July finishes, you will feel more comfortable turning to non-alcoholic drinks and this will help you to stick to your moderation/mindful goals. If you have a habit of getting home from work and pouring yourself an alcoholic drink, try running a bath instead or going for a walk with a friend/partner/dog.

Take note of the ‘culture’ in your friendship group

Is it around getting drunk together, and if so, what might you like to change about this? Sometimes the biggest challenge can be saying no to that extra drink and needing to explain that you are cutting back, and why. It will be easy to have Dry July as an excuse, but it may prove to be more difficult explaining to friends why you are not drinking like you used to in the long run. Try experimenting with this and some possible reasons you may have for cutting back. This could be around health, or even saying, ‘I’m taking a break for a while, to see what it’s like without alcohol’.

Look at past situations

Consider situations where you generally don’t drink as much, and look at what helps in that situation. Is it knowing you have a limit (e.g. driving), or is it situations where you’ve eaten beforehand, or are with people you know aren’t big drinkers? See if you can use these existing situations to inform future plans. Similarly, consider the situations where you tend to drink heavily – what is happening there? Is there an expectation that you’ll drink, and a situation that supports this (e.g. staying overnight, unlimited alcohol)?

For long term change, you have to be ready

The reality is that until you are ready to change, you will probably not stop drinking, particularly if it is serving a purpose or there has become a dependency.

If you find you need extra support to help you change, check out Hello Sunday Mornings’ mobile behaviour change program, Daybreak.

Returning home after a trip around the world has taught me something valuable about self-love. It’s a busy world, and you’ll feel overwhelmed if you don’t know how to communicate with yourself and listen to your needs. Culture means to be connected, but sometimes we lose contact with ourselves when we search for a connection with others. Sometimes you realise that you have never been connected to yourself.

My teenage and young adult years were extremely fun and extremely horrible at the same time. I needed alcohol to feel okay with who I was. Without being drunk I didn’t really allow myself to have fun, and I always wanted to have fun. For me, it wasn’t like I felt great and thought a drink or two could make me feel even better. I felt out of place, lost, unwanted, stiff, and stressed-out unless I was drunk. I couldn’t see the fun in doing things without drinking, and anything was fun if I could only be drunk doing it.

Strangely enough, it wasn’t like I felt great drinking, either. Once I started I only felt content if I had a new drink in my hand or knew that I had access to more. I rarely enjoyed the moment; I only chased getting drunker. And drunker I got, but not happier.

It felt like someone had sucked the soul out of me whenever I woke up from my drunkenness. Days after drinking I still felt like I would never be able to experience joy again.

Why did I allow myself to drink every week if I knew I would feel so rotten for so many days after?

Alcohol was a part of who I believed I was. I didn’t know who I could be without it. I didn’t know how to have fun without alcohol. Honestly, I thought that a life without alcohol wasn’t worth living. Partying was all that kept me searching for more. I didn’t even care what party I went to, as long as it meant that I could get drunk.

As a 27-year-old woman who has been through a lot of psychologists, self-help books, podcasts, and treatments, I know that I have a lot of knowledge and inspiration to share with the world. Sharing is good for those who are struggling themselves and also for parents, teachers and other people related to someone who is struggling. It opens up a gateway through which people can relate, understand and then offer help.

This is why I wrote the book, Free The Girl – A story about (finding) self-love,
and share my experiences with feeling like shit. Our minds are scared of change–that’s why it is hard to break habits–but change is just one decision away.

Hot tips for self-love

If alcohol affects you negatively, here are my tips on self-love and how to work with yourself.

To get a grasp of your own relationship with alcohol, ask yourself, ‘Why do I drink?’. If you answer ‘because it tastes good’ then ask yourself if you would choose a non-alcoholic drink if it tasted exactly the same. If not, then why do you drink?

The point of answering this question is to be truthful with yourself. Our brains love to make up excuses for why we do things, but if you ask yourself and really listen in, you often feel the real truth inside.

If you would like to take a break from drinking but it feels like a long stretch, set a reasonable goal. Start with one month if two feels overwhelming. Put the month into a bigger perspective: what is 30 days of your life without alcohol, really? Isn’t it worth giving your body, liver and head a little rest? A month just to check in and see if you feel different, maybe even better than you currently do. Aren’t you curious about how much energy you might get? Wouldn’t it be great to look back and celebrate that you could do it? At the end of the day, it is just a test to see if your life can improve.

Prepare for your time off alcohol and make a list of things to do instead:

  • Write a list of positive outcomes. What will you get out of taking a break? Put your list on your fridge and read it every time things get hard.
  • Check if someone wants to do it with you. In that case, you can hang out together if all your other friends are out clubbing. Or you can both go out with your friends if you feel like you’ll be okay not drinking.
  • What did you use to do when you were younger, before you started drinking? Is there a hobby you have benched?
  • Visit your grandparents or other relatives that you don’t see often
  • Catch up on your reading
  • Use this time to really pamper yourself. Eat healthy food, get outdoors for some natural sunlight, go to bed on time – view it as a spring clean-out!

If you need more inspiration to get this list going, try to put on a seven-minute timer and write down anything that comes to mind that makes you lose track of time or that you simply enjoy doing.

The most important thing is to be kind to yourself.

Speak to yourself like you would speak to your child or best friend. Cut yourself some slack! Keep in mind that it is okay to not always feel amazing. Allow your mind and body to just be, and say to yourself that it is okay. Right now, what I feel is what I feel, how I am is how I am – and right now, that is okay. Life is so much more than we can describe it in words. Follow your interests, follow your happiness and don’t limit yourself to what you know!

Maya Kiusalaas | www.mymondaylove.com

As a health coach for Hello Sunday Morning’s app, Daybreak, I have noticed that anxiety is a really common issue for our members. For some people, it is a chicken or egg scenario – is my drinking a way that I am managing my anxiety, or is my anxiety partly a result of my drinking and all the things that come with it? And, where does stress fit into all of this? Is it the same, or separate to anxiety?

One thing I have noticed is that stress in our lives greatly increases our vulnerability to high-risk drinking, as well as being overwhelmed with strong emotions.

I wondered why that was, and what kind of relationship there was between these three factors. My sense was that if I, as a health coach, had these questions, our members might as well – so I have put together some pointers that my coaching clients have found helpful in exploring the relationship between anxiety, drinking, and stress.

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is a tricky thing to define but is generally our brain’s way of responding to some kind of threat – whether that is a threat to our safety, our reputation, our relationships or our sense of self. It can be affected by our genetics, our environment, and our personality. Stress is often a precursor to anxiety – stressful situations put us into ‘fight or flight’ mode that helps us to protect ourselves from various types of threat.

Can you be predisposed to anxiety?

There is a lot of evidence that links stressful life events (SLEs) in our early life with issues later in life, including anxiety, depression and, sometimes, substance use.
SLEs don’t have to be life or death situations – they can be things like witnessing parental divorce, economic adversity or mental illness. The evidence indicates that experiencing two or more SLEs in early life significantly increased a person’s chances of developing an issue with their mood, such as anxiety or depression.

Of course, if you are a child who is vulnerable to stress, you are probably going to be affected more by something like a divorce or economic hardship– which is where individual factors come in. An anxious or sensitive temperament and stress early on in life can create a ‘perfect storm’ for some issues later on down the track.
Not everyone who feels anxious as an adult has been exposed to SLEs, but there is a really strong relationship between SLEs and anxiety or depression. It is good to remember that the active component here is the ‘stress’ – when kids are exposed to ongoing stress in their lives, it impacts how their brains develop and respond to threats in their environment. But more on that later on.

A good thing to remember is that SLEs in adulthood can also create issues with our moods – if we have a number of stressful events with little opportunity for respite, we can find that it is much harder to keep positive.
Perhaps we start to feel really anxious after a bad breakup that just keeps going on, or very down and helpless after some chronic stress at work. Our brains don’t deal with ongoing stress well, particularly the kind of stress that we feel we can’t do much about.

Remember – stress often comes first, and if it keeps going, that is when problems can develop. Often when we look back to difficult times in our lives, we can see that a number of different stressors led up to it.
What is the science behind this? It sounds too ‘tell me about your childhood’!

Emotions and stress levels

There is a lot of research into SLEs, as well as the actual mechanism that creates this relationship between our exposure to stress, our moods, and our relationships with alcohol. Not surprisingly, there is a lot of heavy duty neuroscience, but essentially:

We know that SLEs can change how our brains develop and even which genes are expressed; in particular, in the dopamine reward pathway which is a major player in high-risk drinking.

Research has found major disruptions in our dopamine signalling (for motivated behaviour and reward seeking) associated with SLEs. The part of our brain that controls this system also affects our stress and anxiety levels.
Throughout our lifetime, stress causes us to produce cortisol which helps us to survive and stay alert. However, when these stress responses are activated over and over again, a person can become vulnerable to later problems with anxiety and depression.

One way to think about it is like a button that gets pressed over and over again. At first, it works well, but over time it wears out. Sometimes it will get stuck in the ‘on’ position, and other times it won’t work at all and we’ll need to keep pressing it until it does.

People who have some problems with regulating their emotions as adults will often have had lots of stressful experiences as children, which have caused them to become ‘dysregulated’. The button in their brain that controls anxiety, mood, and even motivation, has been pressed too much and is now worn out. They might need to drink lots of coffee to get going, or they might need to drink a lot of alcohol to calm themselves down.

If there have been many disruptive, challenging or stressful events in your childhood, this may have contributed to you experiencing some issues with anxiety as an adult. If you were an anxious child who experienced a lot of things as stressful, that may also be impacting you now. If you’ve just come through a number of stressors and are finding that your emotions are all over the place, this may also be something to consider.

How does this button fit in with my drinking?

It becomes even trickier as the way that alcohol works is by taking advantage of this ‘worn out’ stress button. People who fit this description may be more susceptible to the ‘pleasure’ pathway that occurs with alcohol.

Exposure to ongoing stress means that our brains produce less dopamine over time, and so we can feel flat and empty – which can cause us to seek out the ‘high’ of alcohol or drugs. Having a sip of alcohol sends excitatory projections to our nucleus accumbens, part of our reward pathway. A complex set of interactions occur which result in that ‘good’ feeling we can get from drinking, and in people who are vulnerable, it can be a really intense and rewarding experience.

In particular, if you are an anxious person who is under stress, you may be existing in a state of mild discomfort. It is not a comfortable feeling to be on edge or tense, and alcohol is something that significantly shifts that, really quickly. We become conditioned to believe that this is perhaps the only way to take away the discomfort, or relive the stress we are feeling – and so drinking becomes more and more of a coping strategy, particularly when we are having a difficult time in our lives and are stressed, burnt out or unhappy.

Perhaps at the beginning it is about having pleasure and getting enjoyment, and later on it may become about taking away unpleasant emotions and discomfort from not having the alcohol – which is a good indicator that a problem is starting to develop, and some support is needed.

But where does this leave me?

This may sound really bleak, but don’t worry! The good news is that being aware of this relationship is a big part of the solution. Daybreak members who have identified this link between stress, anxiety, and drinking, have found some of the following strategies really helpful:

• Talk to a counsellor or coach about what kinds of things are generally stressful for you like relationship problems, criticism, failure or rejection. Understanding your triggers means that they are no longer triggers, but rather situations which can be handled with care and understanding.

• Finding other ways to ‘self-soothe’. Things like relaxation and exercise are effective ways of lowering physiological arousal and increasing your production of dopamine. Importantly, they also give us a sense of control over our mood state, which is really important for our wellbeing.

• Find ways to reduce stress in your life. If your stress button has been ‘worn out’ by life events, it may be necessary to find ways to deal with stress differently, whether that involves a change in your self-care, seeking support from friends and family to help lighten the load, or problem solving ways to address sources of ongoing stress.

• Make a list of trigger situations and a plan to deal with each of these. For example, if you know that you are likely to feel depleted and exhausted after work, make a plan to go for a walk with a friend, or schedule some other self-soothing activity that will be effective in lowering your arousal.

During these times that we are under stress in our adult lives, we need to be even more careful with things like alcohol and ensure that we are looking after ourselves and keeping stress to a minimum. This might involve getting some counselling to help deal with the source of strong emotions, or even to help to resolve current stresses in our relationships, work life or friendships.

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